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Original poster

50 shades of grey

19 replies

zzzexhaustedzzz · 06/10/2023 08:20

I haven’t read this or any of the series, and am hoping some of you have!
My new partner seems familiar with it (I expect via his ex) and has asked me whether I’ve read it.
Please can anyone give me a summary of what types of sex it covers? I got the impression there were a lot of mind games and S and M involved - was it always the woman being dominated?

OP posts:
StarlightLady · 06/10/2023 09:19

Summary: Bad grammar, badly written, nothing to do with a woman’s needs and boring 🙁.

AristideBeauvoir · 06/10/2023 10:01

During the hype I thought I'd better take a look and read the first fifteen pages. I couldn't go any further. What a load of rubbish. I don't know what all the fuss was about.

JoanMacIntosh · 06/10/2023 10:03

Similar to the pp, dull read, rich man wants to dominate young, inexperienced woman to basically turn her into his play thing, but also then marry her? Power dynamic off and the sexy time very straightforward “light and easily marketable” BDSM.

JoanMacIntosh · 06/10/2023 10:03

Tbh there are better erotic stories out there than anything to do with 50SOG.

PinotPony · 06/10/2023 10:11

It's fucking awful. Please don't bother.

It's very poorly written. The grammar and use of language is shocking and incredibly repetitive.

More importantly, the BDSM community have en masse shunned this book. It doesn't reflect true BDSM. It's a rich man abusing a vulnerable woman.

Any guy who references FSOG as his source of kink knowledge is a huge red flag to me.

GigiAnnna · 06/10/2023 10:44

The sex scenes are boring and the same all through the book, no real storyline. I've read better erotic fiction.

Pokotho · 06/10/2023 11:54

It is not a true and safe representation of a consensual BDSM relationship in the slightest. Her boundaries are repeatedly ignored and it should not be used as a basis for any sexual activity in my opinion.
It's also just not well written, but that was a secondary issue to me as someone into BDSM 🤣

Original poster
zzzexhaustedzzz · 06/10/2023 16:21

Wow, thanks for that- knew mumsnet would have views! And I myself have tried to read it once and managed a couple of pages, that’s it.
He just mentioned it and now I want to know why! He mentions loads of stuff, but I definitely don’t want my boundaries ignored so I need to make that clear. FWIW he has said that his ex was into stuff he wasn’t into.

OP posts:
xpc316e · 06/10/2023 18:01

If the only thing the man knows about the world of BDSM is 50SoG, then I would guess that he knows very little about it.

If the world of BDSM appeals to you, then you need to decide whether you want to enter it with something who knows only a small amount of the lifestyle and its practices. That might be fun; it might be a disaster.

mnmnddddd · 07/10/2023 06:54

I've not read it, and so far from this thread, I've learned nothing about what it describes. I already new it was a devisive book, badly written and not representing of real, healthy BDSM, but I'm still guessing at what the book actually contains.

ruffler45 · 07/10/2023 07:37

You will get more ideas looking at the Lovehoney website (others are available!)

GigiAnnna · 07/10/2023 13:11

mnmnddddd · 07/10/2023 06:54

I've not read it, and so far from this thread, I've learned nothing about what it describes. I already new it was a devisive book, badly written and not representing of real, healthy BDSM, but I'm still guessing at what the book actually contains.

Read it yourself then if you're that desperate to know.

Zanatdy · 07/10/2023 21:17

I read maybe half, got bored. I’d say someone mentioning 50 shades might want to try a bit of bondage, spanking, sex toys, bit of rough sex. Probably better having an honest conversation about likes / dislikes / boundaries and trying things out together

Thisismysexforumname · 07/10/2023 21:55

I'm no expert on the sub/dom lifestyle, altho I do enjoy a dabble here and there. It was a good awful film and nothing like I understand a real life dynamic like that should be.

Catullus5 · 08/10/2023 01:51

The book are extremely popular - as fantasies. Instruction manuals they are not

overdalexx · 08/10/2023 10:06

Zanatdy · 07/10/2023 21:17

I read maybe half, got bored. I’d say someone mentioning 50 shades might want to try a bit of bondage, spanking, sex toys, bit of rough sex. Probably better having an honest conversation about likes / dislikes / boundaries and trying things out together

agree - I suppose it did at least awaken some things in some women and may therefore serve some purpose. I well remember a woman I knew bringing it up in conversation for no reason and she would have been well advised to vocalise her interests, even if repressed, and I should have asked. I was actually a bit sniffy about it and recommended something else - I read bits in a sample and found it very poor and got bored. It does seem to have spawned lots of imitators - fantasies about men who are allowed to do lots of oh so so terrible things you might not tell the nice local neighbours about - as long as they have a helicopter, castle, billion pound company, stethoscope.
Funny old world - who would have thought a few years ago that respectable charity shops would be full of books about BDSM, albeit cod.

lilkitten · 14/10/2023 23:18

As @Pokotho said, it's a bad representation of BDSM, more rapey than anything, I wouldn't recommend it. I read the first one out of interest but I was already into kink, and it just made me laugh a bit and put it down. There must be a lot better erotic fiction out there.

lilkitten · 14/10/2023 23:21

Thisismysexforumname · 07/10/2023 21:55

I'm no expert on the sub/dom lifestyle, altho I do enjoy a dabble here and there. It was a good awful film and nothing like I understand a real life dynamic like that should be.

Yes, I think it's actually quite bad if people do think it is what a D/S relationship is, as from what I remember of the book/film she signs away her rights and has no control, and he pretty much does what he wants. I have a 24/7 agreement with my main dom, he can grab my hair or do impact to me whenever he likes, but we both know that if I say no then it's off for that moment. Similar with Normal People, I had to stop watching that, I was fuming - it leaves women open to the kind of "doms" that are more abusive men than caring partners

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