Relationship with zero interest in intimacy

[Pumpkinpie1]

Been together since I was 17 married after university now 8 years. Partner is kind , hardworking but he has never wanted or initiated intimacy. Feel like I’m his flat mate instead of his lover and incredibly lonely and unattractive.
Is this relationship worth saving

It depends on you and what you want, if physical intimacy is important then it could be a deal breaker. Have you spoken to him? What has he said?

Do you have children?

There will be some that will say that you're sexually incompatible and he'll never change. That could be right, however, I believe these things can be overcome in LTRs if he knows exactly how you feel, and why, and is prepared to try. If he's not, well, then you have to decide whether you can compromise on this.

What happens when you initiate, does to he turn you down ?

It’s been an issue since we married. We have adopted and he’s a good dad when he’s home , but very committed to his interests which occupies days evenings and weekends - I did know this when we married but they have increased significantly, I’m the one doing the bulk of the running around and childcare commitments whilst working full time. Friends are really our friends with a exception of a couple of university friends I keep in touch with sporadically.

I feel like I absorbed his hobbies and interests to be close to him since I was at school but if I don’t we don’t really have a lot to say.

He leaves you to do childcare and everything else. He's not attracted to you. Seems like it's time to get rid.

You need to move on from this relationship. You’ve already said that it’s making you feel lonely and unattractive. He sounds very selfish tbh. You were also very young when you got together - you’ve probably matured along the way and are starting to realise that the relationship isn’t going to stand the test of time.

Find someone who makes you feel amazing!!

I think ask him whether it's worth saving. What does he think is good about your relationship when you talk to him?

Sounds like you married him, knowing this already, why did you think it would change?

Have you talked to him about whether he might be asexual, or whether it is an incompatibility? I know quite a few asexual people, if I knew that it wouldn't put me off having a relationship with them, but I think you both need to talk about why he feels this way, as if it's that he doesn't feel an attraction to you but he does to other people then you might want to consider if this type of relationship works for you