@mnmnddddd - I’m not sure I’m an enlightened one, but l like to think l am a pragmatic one.
I think it’s all about respect, something historically women have not always been afforded.
Where to start? The term “Queer” also means ill, and was used as a derogatory term to describe (in most cases) gay men. Often with an expletive mentioned before. For that reason, I’m not comfortable with it. The same applies to “slut”.
As for “Lady”, the clue is in my user name. Without totally outing myself, l was brought up in France which runs on titles (and kisses); no chance of gender neutrality in the French language. One of my best (female) friends calls me Lady, in a similar way to men using “mate”.
Girl? I’m 40 something and still go out with the girls. I’m happy with that, providing it is not used negatively in a mansplaining way.
l could go on, but there is a risk of derailing the thread. My PMs are open if you would like to discuss further.