Need to spice things up a bit

[Rachaelc1981]

Hi, I have been married to my husband for 9 years. We have 6 (yes 6) children, 3 are young adults from his first marriage and we have 3 together, the youngest being 2.5 years old. I desperately want to be with my husband but my husband is getting bored with the same old thing ! Im so award that are a lot of people in the house it’s difficult to sneak away as it’s pretty obvious where we are ! We literally do 2 positions, starts me with giving oral then me on top or me giving oral then him on top. I need to spice things up but I have absolutely ZERO confidence in myself and ZERO self esteem so I wouldn’t dream about role play or dressing up and im quite a large women (comon, I’ve had 3 children) !! So not comfortable wearing lingerie. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance

Someone not long ago posted something virtually identical ( repeatedly) but it was a male poster. He was told where to go in almost all the replies because it was apparent he was expecting far too much of his wife and pressuring her into things she didn't want to do. I'm not saying you are that poster but as a woman I feel like you would get different advice.
I think it's important to be on the same page and at the same time as spicing things up, respect your partner. Some people will be happy with oral and sex in 2 positions. For me personally, good sex is not about trying loads of kinky stuff, but doing a position we both enjoy and making sure it's orgasmic for both of us. If you're not wanting to try lingerie or role play, what is it you want to do?

Thank you for your reply, I think I just want to make more of an effort as my husband thinks it’s boring and that I don’t want him enough, because we have such a busy life with a lot of people living in the same house it’s difficult to give us that alone time we need. The last thing I want is my husband to think I’ve gone off him or that it’s boring coz it’s just the same all the time. I want to show him that I still fancy him and want him in every way. Just wish the kids would bugger off sometimes haha

The other point that was made was about not using sex toys. You can use hands more, ask him to use his hands on you.

Try sending suggestive messages during the day or sexting if you feel comfortable to get you both in the mood (obviously only if you know you are going to have the opportunity later for some fun).
Or how about exploring each others bodies with hands and mouths without going straight for Sex. Blindfolds can be fun for this. Massages?
You don't have to go all out kink, just maybe spent more time exploring each other. It can be very sexy and might help you discover new things you like.

Thank you for your reply, we have never tried blind fold but it sounds very exciting, the not knowing what’s next. I have thought about sexting, was just worried incase he wondered why all of a sudden I had started now after all these years

I have thought about sexting, was just worried in case he wondered why all of a sudden I had started now after all these years
Actually duckie, I think that is the crux of the matter.
You need to change what you have been doing all this time because it is worn out. It no longer excites. The answer will be something new. Not revolutionary, but slightly different. Continuous development by small steps.

IMO you need to talk to him, he needs to answer. Communication is the answer.

Naughty texts or notes make it exciting, increases anticipation. You can start simple as neither of you have done it before. Massages, only foreplay, no intercourse are also sexy and keeps each other wanting for more.
Though I am curious why you have absolutely no confidence with your own husband. You obviously fancy each other, if you have three kids. What are you embarrassed about? So what if something doesn't go the way it is 'supposed' to? You both can have a laugh and continue. It brings a couple closer I feel.

Thank you for your reply, you are absolutely right. It has gone stale so it does need something new introduced. Thank you x

Thank you for your reply, I have no confidence in myself. I am a bigger women (had 3kids) so I ain’t got the nicest of bodies or boobs or bum, hang on, why the hell does he even like me haha I’m going to try setting first and see how things go x

I think it is the little things that happen (or don't happen) in everyday life that will make the difference. The touching, the little squeeze of the arm, running your hand over his back for a couple of seconds when he is washing up. Then get him to do that to you.

Seems a small thing, but I heard something the other day about just having longer, slower kisses when you say goodbye in the morning, or whenever you can. Only takes a matter of seconds but it can change things quite a lot apparently. I hope you find some changes that work for you, (do think about what you'd like too.)

Good luck! 😍

Book a dirty weekend away (I'm sure someone in the house can look after the young ones) you don't have to go far and say your visiting friends as not to give it away the real reason.