Great guy / crap sex

[Goodornot]

What do you do if you like the guy loads but sex is crap.

Penis too small and doesn't stay hard long enough due to anxiety issues etc

Sounds like he'd be a great friend. But not a lover.

He's ocd and autistic spectrum. Can't share a bed, won't see me over night on weekdays and he won't sleep, we spend one night a week together and that's why we've hardly had sex. It ends up about once.

He accepts it is him who put all these restrictions on the relationship.

You lost me at dusting ! That would be more of a deal breaker!!

😂

I stayed in a 23 year marriage to a nice guy but who was rubbish sexually. Nothing wrong with his penis size he was just rubbish at everything. I wasn’t that experienced myself tbh and neither was he - he had only had the one girlfriend previously. Age gap though between us didn’t help.

No passion. No sexual chemistry. No kissing (he was crap at it and his asthma always affected him). No touching. No oral. Just him on and off in less than two minutes. Uurrghhh.

Led to a sexless marriage of over a decade. I just couldn’t be bothered with him. I ended my marriage after going off the rails at menopause (and ending up in a sexual relationship with a sex god).

I regret not ending the relationship earlier. I regret the marriage as it left me empty and unhappy as if something was missing. Been with 4 other men since and, my goodness, all of them made me realise just how bad my husband was. The chemistry just wasn’t there and, stupid me, married him because he was a nice guy.

It will not change if you feel like this now. Call it a day. Please.

Yup. This.

I don't do friendship. It's all or nothing with me. If I ended it, I'd cut him off.

Given that you have a high sex drive and are already so unsatisfied, I doubt that any amount of laughter and time spending can compensate for your sexual needs. You will slowly build up resentment as he may simply be incapable of pleasuring you, perhaps due to his disinterest or other issues you mention. This will require a lot of patience from you and effort from his end, if he actually wants to improve things for himself that is.

He isn't disinterested. Quite the contrary. Just his technique is shit.

I would call it a day. He sounds as if he's autistic & there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, but if you are struggling already with some of his ocd tendencies I think you'll find that they get worse. He sounds like my partner ( who is autistic). We have been together 4 years & at the beginning he masked alot. Now we are comfy together he feels like he doesn't have to. He is a fantastic guy ( in all areas) but it's hard work!! Eventually you will come 2nd place to the routines etc. Does he make you laugh enough to put up with that ( feeling lonely at times) and bad sex ??
On a final note, you could show him what you like?
Good luck with your decision

@Bexx87 I don't think being a " size queen " is anything to do with it. Hate that term, it's usually used when a man wants to shame a woman over her perfectly reasonable preference of a decently sized penis.
Would it be unreasonable for a man then to state his disappointment at a woman with a very small bust or (is there such a thing...) loose vagina.

It's worth researching autism and sex. Inability to hold on can be a common issue. There are some issues that are common to autism. It's not beyond hope but it's worth learning. You may find it helpful in understanding him and how to help him become better if it's possible.

Another one here saying ditch him. Too far for him to come to make this good. You'll end up resenting him.

Sex is what differentiates friends from lovers. If the sex is bad and there is an unwillingness on his part to try and improve the situation, then what you’re left with is a potential friend.

You absolutely can have a partner who makes you laugh, spends quality time with you and sets your bed on fire… it’s just not him.

I would end the relationship.

Google sex positions for small/micro penis, I'm sure there will be some info. Turn been inexperienced into a positive...no bad habits inherited and you can easily train him to your liking but at the same time make it fun, that might help keep anxiety at bay.

The size would put me off. I love giving oral to my DH if he was small like this man OP I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Why stay with someone who will frustrate you?

They do, where have you been?

@Naunet They do, where have you been?
And when they do, women are up in arms about how misogynistic and sex obsessed these men are and how any man who dumps a woman because of her genitalia is a shit man who cares for nothing other than getting his end off. Goose/gander?

Are you monogamous? Is there an option for you to have sex with someone else too? I've had a couple of guys with very small penises, and it still works in the right position and right technique, it might be if he's inexperienced you need to experiment a bit to see what would work. My primary partner has the biggest penis I've had, but it limits what we can do. I've never had a PIV orgasm without a toy to add to the experience (fingers work much better for me). I can relate to the not sleeping over thing :-) I have my adhd assessment this week, I have a thing about wanting my own bed to actually go to sleep in, I find I can't usually sleep very well in other people's houses.

Yes we're monogamous. I do incorporate a sex toy into it to get me off but it's not as good as the orgasm I get from PIV