Oral Sex

[Missingoutbigtime]

I’ve recently read a few threads on this part of MN and a couple that caught my eye were the ones about men giving women oral sex and how the majority really enjoyed giving it. In other relationships it wasn’t offered, my DP doesn’t give it often and I’ve never experienced an orgasm this way.
I can’t help wondering if there’s a reason for this and if there is a problem with my lady bits. I don’t have particularly huge labia but they are visible from the outside. It’s really embarrassing to say this but I have thought about asking my DP.

Do you live somewhere that you have to be fairly quiet? Everywoman likes it differently and your vocal noises are the best indicator of if he's doing it right for you. If you can't let it all out, an active hand in his hair or on his shoulder helps. Also a relaxed sideways 69 can help a lot; he can rest his head on your thigh and alternate between fingers and mouth, with less pressure on him because you're busy. You can say things like " I love it when you suck my clit into your mouth (if that is something that works for you).

OP, there is nothing worng with you. It sounds as if you are suffering from his inhibitions. I have been crticised for saying this before, but with me, it's no oral - no entry. Starlight rules. Nobody has to share my body if they don't want this.

I cannot see why anyone would criticise you for this, but I can only really see it working in a casual/ short term thing

i don’t think that going down the route of withholding sex in a LTR is ultimately going to foster a stronger relationship or better sex.

What would you do if a long term partner decided they didn’t want to give it anymore? Would you leave them, just for that?

@DixonD that’s a how long is a piece of string question, if the relationship is strong and good, then probably no - I think you would still need to work on it,

if the relationship was long but crap that’s a different story.

BUT starlight is alluding to with holding sex, which I personally think would never be helpful in a LTR and would only foster feelings of resentment and rejection

I wasn’t necessarily talking about a LTR but more generally, particularly early on. But if someone changed in attitude during a LTR, that obviously would require a long and l suspect complicated discussion.

Early on I would completely agree - you set out your ground rules, even more so with a casual relationship/ FWB etc.

but you were in a LTR / marriage and suddenly changed your ground rules to

”it's no oral - no entry” then I think that’s not going to end well 🤷🏼

@myNewName21 - l’m puzzled by you saying “but you were in a LTR marriage and suddenly changed the rules …” l did not at any time imply that l changed the rules In an LTR.

Apologies…

I meant

“If the OP were in a LTR / marriage and suddenly changed the rules …”

Or anyone

@myNewName21 - Ah, get it. That's a relief, I thought for a moment I was married again or in a new LTR and not noticed. 😂

You seem to of had every partner avoid this with you, I'm thinking do you not discuss and say what you want confidently to them?

There's nothing wrong with you at all. I've had previous partners who all loved doing it some were hopeless some were good.

My DH would do it every night if I'd let him he finds it a huge turn on. Life's too short to stay with shit sex

@Missingoutbigtime, I (male) rather enjoy giving it and rarely receive. But I am not that much into having it. I can assure you that you it is nothing to do with your labia, some people like to give oral sex and some to not.

As another Bi woman who has kissed one or two I can assure you it is NOT how your vulva looks. Maybe because you are anxious it seems you are not happy when he did try.

As a man I can tell you that I love going down on my partner. If she would let me I would do it every night. @Custardslices your not my wife are you.?

I vastly prefer to give oral sex over receiving it, in fact I prefer it over PIV sex.

Of course there are men out there with different experiences and preferences. Others may have had negative experiences that have put them off, or have confidence issues, it only takes one pervious partner reacting poorly to put someone off.