Not feeling aroused after being with same partner for years...

[Meltinthemiddle]

Does anyone else experience this? I am just finding it really difficult to get turned on as I am so used to his touch and feel. Sex often then leads to disappointment and an anti climax as he is already there by the time I'm just warming up. We used to have a really good sex life and I would orgasm through penetration but now even if I feel the build up it just flatlines so to speak. We do, do foreplay, but even then I'm not turned on and thinking I could be going to sleep. Is this the end of our sex life? Thought it was meant to be better in your 40's 🙁

How long have you been together? I’m in my early 40s and experiencing the opposite, and we’ve been together 17 years.

Are you still attracted to him?

We have been together 22 years. I'm not sure the attraction is there anymore, but I'm not repulsed by him. It's just not the same.

Twenty two years is a very long time, only natural that desire and attraction might fade. I'd not beat yourself up about It, either introduce some novelty into your sex life, or have an open conversation. After such a long time, that is probably best.

Thank you I will try and approach it. I think things have become very predictable.

My advice would be to get a bullet vibrator and get him to use it on you or use it on yourself while you have sex.
In your 40's you could be perimenopausal and that could be effecting things. Or you could just be in a rut and need to spice things up a bit after so long - be positive about it and have fun.

Agree with a bullet vibrator, if you use that as well as having sex hopefully you’ll orgasm that way.

I’d suggest spicing things up a little. Go on Love honey or similar and buy a few things. It will be fun to experiment and choose together. Things will definitely become stale and predicable after many years together.

Thank you, I think we have just become reall.tired and boring.

OP, are you on the pill?

I found my sex drive was hugely better off it.

@itsmyp4rty hit it on the head also as you like PIV orgasms look at a Rabbit maybe?

Communication between the two of you needs to be high on the agenda imho.

My DW and I have had flat times but we take active steps to reinvigorate our physical as well as our emotional lives together. My DW is deep into her perimenopause and at the early stages ( early 40s) she was right off sex and it took getting her hormones checked and onto HRT before the rocket zoomed again.

Also family and professional life can take it's toll too, maybe go away for a weekend just the two of you with some sexy underwear, a couple of toys to try and a desire for fresh perspectives and you never know where it might take you both?

Good luck and report back!

At that age I changed the Pill I took, I still needed one but did some research on MN before chatting to Dr. I just felt more lively. So able to chat to 'him' better.
We also changed time of day, not doing much when we were tired. Reassuring cuddles at bedtime.
I am not keen on toys, get him to use his hands more and his lips. Your boobs and nips need his attention.