BF and I were sexting this evening, he has his kids and I don’t stay over then. We are both late 40s.
We split up in May and we were NC for a while as he felt everything was too much. His ex, his work. We’ve started talking again over the last weeks and only seen each other once. Haven’t even been out any where together yet since starting to talk again.
But then he said he wanted to have sex with me in front of other people in a Swingers club and be watched.
I’ve always said my boundaries are no sex with others, either together or alone. I’ve been cheated on by others too many times. I would hate to have a threesome.
He says we would be together the whole time and he wouldn’t want to go off with anyone else. It would just be us enjoying ourselves. He likes idea of being watched and doesn’t want to go to a car park or any thing like that.
I have insecurities because of previous partners. This is the first time I’ve felt sexually open with someone that I can talk to about my fantasies and have played some out with him, but always with privacy together in our homes.
We’ve fooled around at the sauna before and in the cool down pool. But not been explicitly having sex in front of others.
The idea turns me on and I trust him with my life. However he can be impulsive. We can be having a quiet evening in together and someone calls and says they are having a party and we end up going out until 2am. This is what worries me. We agree to something before we go and then become swept up with the atmosphere and boundaries are forgotten. This would totally break me.
I have to have this conversation with him and it’s going to be difficult because he doesn’t speak English. I’m a foreigner in his country.
I think we need more time back together and to build a lot of trust and respect back before going ahead with something like this.