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Feeling lost and unloved

16 replies

Unhappilymarried1980 · 03/09/2023 19:12

It’s not just lack of sex but also lack of affection.

married ten years with a 4 and 5 year old.

I dearly love my wife and absolutely fancy her but feel so unwanted it’s starting to affect me mentally to the extent I feel ugly and upset all the time.

we’re both early 40’s but literally have no sexlife whatsoever.
I had a spell of ed which I thought was all my fault but I’m fit as a fiddle and even went to the doctors who said there is nothing wrong with me.
but now I’ve realised it was down to feeling so unwanted.

my wife never comes and sits next to me infact it feels like she chooses to sit on another sofa from me.
she doesn’t compliment how I look ever (although I always do with her).
she never initiates a hug/cuddle (I have to every time)
never ever has she just kissed me.
never has she initiated sex.
and not once in 10 years has she told me she loves me.
I’ve spoken to her about this and I get “why did you pick me, it’s how my family are” which in all fairness is true but should she work on herself rather than me just put up??

I’ve spoken about improving our sexlife and trying anything than just plain old missionary for 10 years and had a point blank no that’s it I’m not trying anything (although she’s told me she tried all sorts with exes when younger)

So I say I don’t feel comfortable asking for sex as there is literally nothing inbetween house mate and sex which makes me uncomfortable and I lose an erection.
Literally had 2 days where she sat by me uncomfortably that’s it and now back to the same old.

I feel like throwing the towel in but I love my kids and wife.

We do get on and have a good quality of life and spend time together but to me it feels more like mates than people that find each other sexy.

She talks of our future etc so don’t think she’s checked out.

I just don’t know what to do anymore, I feel maybe I’m just an easy ride and I’m only worth maintenance sex (which I don’t want like this anymore)

OP posts:
Cakencookieobsessed · 03/09/2023 19:50

Are you the same poster who keeps posting about how your wife won't do anything other than missionary, doggy and blow jobs? Just leave, honestly. You're never going to be happy with her and nothing will ever be enough for you.

Thefallbegins · 03/09/2023 19:58

Your post resonates with me so I thought I’d share my thoughts. I am a woman, my husband has said similar things, the truth is, I don’t think I love him anymore. I know my husband still adores me and it makes me feel guilty because I know I can no longer give him what he needs but we have a family and we work well together and walking away from what we have achieved and created seems difficult and part of me feels I’d be a little lost without him but I know one day, I will have to walk away, or maybe he will, I haven’t told him this but I think he’s in denial, as am I.

Unhappilymarried1980 · 03/09/2023 20:11

Not me.

OP posts:
Unhappilymarried1980 · 03/09/2023 20:16

why don’t you set him free?

OP posts:
KillingEevee · 04/09/2023 07:18

It’s not her job to set him free! He/you should take responsibility for your own happiness, if you know your wife is not going to change and you don’t like it, then leave.

xpc316e · 04/09/2023 07:39

We pass this way only once and we are responsible for our own happiness to a huge extent. You owe yourself a chance to be happy. My advice would be to leave and find someone like yourself, who craves the things you do.

Best wishes.

Thefallbegins · 04/09/2023 09:33

Unhappilymarried1980 · 03/09/2023 20:16

why don’t you set him free?

I have told my husband, if he feels I’m not enough for him then I don’t want to hold him back and he is welcome to leave but he hasn’t.

Coffeelovr · 04/09/2023 14:37

Have you discussed conselling with her?

myNewName21 · 04/09/2023 15:59

Honestly, just leave it only going to get worse never better

CinnamonApplePie · 04/09/2023 22:03

I was like that with my stbx. Bottom line…I wasn’t attracted to him. Ten year age gap. I stayed for many years so as not to upset the apple cart. It has affected me badly.

I filed for divorce 3 years ago after ending up in an affair. It is my biggest regret that I didn’t end my marriage earlier. We were nothing more than friends.

RayofSunshine18 · 05/09/2023 11:56

What are your wife's opinions on your relationship? Is she happy? Have you asked what she thinks may improve the situation as well?

You obviously love and care for her, so would you both be open to some couples therapy to see if there are issues that you can work through together with an external party?

If you are not both willing to continue to work at the marriage and 'fix' what is there already, perhaps as other posters have said, it is time to move on by yourself.

You are only here once and it would be such a shame for you both to be trapped in an unhappy relationship.

Rachaelc1981 · 23/09/2023 12:26

Hi, I can relate slightly to this as I am the women and my husband feels the same way as you do. Trouble is I love my husband more Than anything but he keeps saying that I don’t love him and we have nothing between us and that he feels we are house mates more than husband and wife. We have a really busy lifestyle so I find it difficult to find time to spend time with him even though I desperately want to. We have been together for 20 years also. He says he’s bored of our life and our sex life. I desperately want to make him happy. I still fancy him like I did the first time I saw him but I do t think he feels the same way and that’s because how I’ve made him feel, he says he’s never felt so unwanted and so unloved. We have 6 children, 3 young adults and 3 younger ones, youngest being 2.5 years old so I have very little time to be with him but I’m so desperate to be with him but not just sexually just to spend time together as husband and wife not just 2 people in the same house

EarthSight · 23/09/2023 20:00

I'm so sorry OP. It makes for awful reading and your sadness is palpable in your writing.

I don't know what to advise as there's kids involved, but it sounds as if she can't stand you. She simply does not see you in a sexual way and it doesn't sound like she ever will or ever has previously. It's so extreme that she doesn't even want to be near you physically.

One of the joys of a relationship is the warmth and mutual flirtation of it. It doesn't have to be sex itself, but it's that cheeky sensuality that puts a smile on your face.

I don't know what I would do in your shoes but I might consider waiting untils the kids are beyond uni age and then break up. I don't advise doing it when they're at the 1st year of univeristy. A lot of parents seem to think this is a great time to do that as technically they are then a student, but emotionally, it isn't. They are having to get used to living by themsleves for the first time in their life, maybe a totally different environment and lots of changes, and their home life is the one thing that is stable or secure for them, so when that's taken away it's very unsettling.

EarthSight · 23/09/2023 20:02

Also OP, do you think your wife loves you or even likes you? Asking because a bad relationship between the parents can negatively affect the family unit and bond.

WashAwayTheseSadDays · 24/09/2023 17:53

So many people here in a sexless marriages. I guess it does just boil down to put up with it or walk away.
My husband never hugged or kissed me. He turned me down for sex all the time. We often slept in separate beds. On paper I had the perfect life but I was so unhappy underneath. I tried to fill my life with other stuff but feeling unloved and unwanted is hard.
Then I met someone. Nothing really happened. Just a few messages. But someone found out and threatened me. And with the stress/unhappiness it all just got too much had a mini breakdown I guess.
We're "working on things". But I think it comes down to the fact that he won't ever love me in the way I want to be loved. He loves me in his own way but not in an affectionate/intimate way. And I don't really know if I want to live that way for the rest of my days.
No help, but you're not alone.

Lostinthisuniverse · 07/10/2023 07:00

WashAwayTheseSadDays · 24/09/2023 17:53

So many people here in a sexless marriages. I guess it does just boil down to put up with it or walk away.
My husband never hugged or kissed me. He turned me down for sex all the time. We often slept in separate beds. On paper I had the perfect life but I was so unhappy underneath. I tried to fill my life with other stuff but feeling unloved and unwanted is hard.
Then I met someone. Nothing really happened. Just a few messages. But someone found out and threatened me. And with the stress/unhappiness it all just got too much had a mini breakdown I guess.
We're "working on things". But I think it comes down to the fact that he won't ever love me in the way I want to be loved. He loves me in his own way but not in an affectionate/intimate way. And I don't really know if I want to live that way for the rest of my days.
No help, but you're not alone.

You met someone.

That's the start of your subconscious checking out of your current relationship. You're unhappy deep down. Move on is the best advice I can give.

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