How to change things up

[hungryhippo28]

Dh and I have a bit of an odd sex life. He has ED issues so sex is usually scheduled and very rarely spontaneous. This isn't the problem though. The problem is that we do the same thing every time, like the exact same sequence of events. It always ends well for us both but I'm getting really bored with the predictability of it. I suspect he must be too.

He isn't the best communicator about sex. He gets quite embarrassed and defensive about his ED (understandable) so it's quite hard to talk about sex related things. I feel weirdly self conscious about initiating something new and out of the normal routine. I have recently got a couple of little toys which he seems open to. But how/what else can I try?

You could always start with something small like having sex somewhere you usually wouldn’t - the shower/ kitchen side/living room floor. I found that switched our sex life up a little and then suddenly we started getting a bit more adventurous.

Also if you haven’t already - get a mirror and have sex in front of it, if it’s something you’re open to. We love doing that now and again, and is just a bit more different from ‘the norm’.

Have you tried sexting during the day? That way it doesn't need to be spontaneous but you can both enjoy the anticipation and perhaps suggest different things if it's via text rather than in person