When does FWB stop being FWB?

[Whatajokr]

I ask because I've been FWB on/off with a man for 3 years. We met on plentymorenaughtyfish, so we were both online looking for sex, not a relationship. First 2 years we messaged a lot online daily, watched virtual films, played online games etc, but we only met 5 times IRL in total, 3 of those for sex, due to COVID and then me being in a year long relationship.

We now see each other once every 3 weeks or so for a few days at a time, as we live a 90min drive from each other. Still message a lot daily, but not at all sexual now. Watch virtual films/series etc.

We tried turning our FWB arrangement into relationship for a few months earlier this year. Nothing really changed in this time tbh. We realised we don't have the feels for each other. No sparks. We've never been exclusive, and neither of us wants that. Having said that, he's not had sex with anyone besides me in the last three years. He has no reason to lie about it, so I believe him. I have had other sexual partners. He knows about them.

We're just happy enjoying each others company until someone else comes along. Neither of us are on dating sites looking for that though. We were both on plentymorenaughtyfish as we don't like conventional OLD. We're not swipers. He may be back on plenty... I've not asked, it's none of my business if he is. I'm not on anything.

Having said all that, we're not having what I would describe as a FWB relationship either.
We do everything dating couples do, cook together, meals out, pub, met each others friends, been away on a UK holiday and going on another in November, theatre, days out, afternoon tea. He properly spoiled me on my birthday, as did I on his.

Whilst I know not everything has to be labelled, and the big picture is that this is working for us as it is, what is this?! It's been swirling round my mind since I got home from his last weekend, as I was there for 3 nights and we only had sex once. It's starting to feel very comfortable and like a long term relationship, but we both know that's not what either of us want as we can't see ourselves ever falling in love. I don't want a FWB with very little B! I enjoy his company and the sex is good, but it feels like we're now in a strange limbo I can't get my head around.

Help me please!

If you are enjoying it, why try to label it? Get your sex fix elsewhere, or have a open & honest conversation with him about what you think is missing.

What an excellent post @Whatajokr.

Would it help to think of this as a genuine "friendship" with some benefits, as opposed a simple "fuck buddy" type arrangement?

I don't think anything is missing @AverageGuy . He's just not "the one". At the cinema a few weeks ago, I kept glancing at him thinking I just wish I could fancy the pants off you. Everything else works. I guess I need to up initiating sex more with him than I currently do. I know he wouldn't complain! I didn't put on my original post that I've started doing a little bit of his life admin for him too...I offered as I'm better placed to do it. It's that depth of sharing of life.

The weird thing is that I can see us being together for the rest of our lives, as it's just comfortable...with both of us thinking "you don't give me butterflies, but you'll do for now"

We're definitely friends @NCmistermistress We clicked friendshipwise when we met. We supported each other through significant life events through the 2 years of only meeting 5 times IRL. He considers me one of his top 3 friends and said I supported him so much more than any of his other friends when he needed supporting. If either of us met someone, I have no doubt we'd still be messaging daily like we did when I was seeing my ex for a year.