Dreamt DH was raping me

[TheGander]

Had a vivid dream he was dragging me
down to a basement and saying “ I’m going to rape you now”. I was completely overpowered. The dream then bifurcated onto something else. This is completely at odds with reality. One of the reasons I got with DH is there was no aggression. I was sexually abused as a child and probably have an inbuilt suspicion/ fear of men. We’d had sex the day before after a long drought. It was uncomplicated.
Not sure why I’m posting, probably because I know I can’t share this with DH. He’d be upset and I don’t want to complicate or sabotage our sex life getting back on track. Any comments welcome especially from women who have overcome sexual abuse, but I k ow this is a very difficult area so would understand if no one is keen to comment or share.

Personally I think dreams have no real meaning, and tend to be just a jumble of thoughts that happen to go through your head while you are sleeping. I have had some pretty upsetting dreams, mainly around times of grief or personal trauma. I recently woke up crying because a dream was so terrible and real, but once I had woken up and come to my senses, I realised it was what it was, just a dream. I think try not to dwell on it too much, and concentrate with the reality of life.

disagree about dreams to be honest forum name. They may appear bonkers/skewed/screwed but I think they very very often relate to real life as it is lived on the surface or below. That's why I find them personally so interesting, and very often therapeutic.
As a man I hesitate to address the OP too much, though it might be worth pondering how you felt in the dream.

I do agree that they can relate to real life, but I do not believe that dreams have any intrinsic "meaning" as such for example, losing teeth is supposed mean something, being chased is supposed to mean something else etc.

It sounds like an innate fear but in your circumstances, it will be based on actual events, much like how women walk down a street and look back to make sure they’re not being following, or carrying their phone in their hand incase they need to use it, we are often subconsciously aware of the risks around us. I hope you’re ok and sorry to hear about the abuse you suffered.

It's probably some unconscious feelings from your past. I wouldn't read too much into it although I imagine it was quite upsetting. My boyfriend told me this morning that I was saying my ex husband's name in quite a sexual tone in my sleep last night...I can't remember dreaming about him and there's certainly NO feelings there anymore but our brains do funny things when we sleep it seems.

I also don’t think dreams have much meaning, I mean most of mine make zero sense. Hopefully just a one off horrible dream that won’t be repeated

I don't think it's that unusual to have strongly sexual (yes I know real rape is incredibly bad in case someone flames me) dreams OP after a sex drought. To be honest, I also wouldn't necessarily see this dream as a totally bad thing. Your subconscious may be working through something.

at the risk of a divert. they may make sense to someone. Someone I know had an apparently strange dream about me - they seemed puzzled by it, but it made sense to me. Though I didn't tell them.

I guess sometimes. Other times they are just bizarre mix up of reality / fiction. I wouldn’t read too much into them personally

Thanks everyone for posting. I guess we’re split down the middle as to whether there’s any meaning to the dream and dreams in general . It’s re awakened me to my deep seated fear of men and sexual aggression- something I know I have, but it was on the back burner. It really can’t be about a fear of DH as I feel safe with him. I don’t think the dream was just brain waste, another aspect of the dream is my parents were upstairs but couldn’t hear me- when I was being sexually abused I real life they were oblivious too.

Do you see /have you seen a therapist? Seems like it would be a good idea and they will have a much better idea about dreams and their relationship to our daily lives.

I have seen a therapist, for other issues but the abuse was discussed and that helped me understand the impact it has had on me in other areas of my life ( I tend to be hyper vigilant and have trouble believing things will work out).

It's understandable your brain is processing sex with OH which triggers your memory of sexual abuse and that in your dream the two have gotten mixed together because they share a common theme (sex) despite being polar opposites in terms of how they make you feel.

Have a look at dream completion techniques and see if you think that might be helpful.

I for one don't pay much store to dreams, mine can be all over the place and some may relate to real life situations or memories.

For me dreams are a way of shuffling my cards and refreshing my brain after emotionally taxing times whether family, work or my personal life.

@TheGander That must have been such an awful memory to wake up to and hope you feel on a positive track soon.