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13 replies

Luna41 · 31/07/2023 20:34

Husband and I have a good sex life.
Imagine my shock when yesterday he asked me if he could sleep with another man in my presence 😞
I feel really emotional about this and need a bit of advice really. I’ve come on here as it’s not something I can talk to friends or family about for obvious reasons.
He says he’s not attracted to men which seems very odd considering what he wants

OP posts:
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WantingToEducate · 01/08/2023 21:05

Oh my gosh, what a shock that must have been?

Has he said where this fantasy has suddenly come from?

And if wants to have sex with a man then he’s clearly sexually attracted to men.

I understand straight men can have MMF 3somes but I imagine that’s a lot to do with the man enjoying seeing his female partner with a another man rather than him wanting any sexual contact with the other man himself (unless they are bisexual of course).

But for him to completely exclude you from the sex (apart from asking you to watch him) heavily suggests that this idea is because he wants to have sex with a guy for his own wants.

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Noizettely · 01/08/2023 21:25

Maybe he is just tired.

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MyCatPlaysPiano · 01/08/2023 21:54

Maybe he is just tired.

😅

You should look for posts by that Cherry poster. She’s having a similar issue. She’s posted a lot on here about it.

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Adventurousones · 01/08/2023 23:07

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myNewName21 · 02/08/2023 07:13

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I think it’s fantasy for some men to see their wives have sex with other men.

but not for the husband to sex with other men while the wife watches 🤷🏼

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Sweptwindy17 · 02/08/2023 07:17

As a man who is very liberated about anal sex, it's really quite possible to be curious about what it would be like to be penetrated by a penis. But not be remotely attracted to men.

I only recently opened my eyes to this as my sexual partner indicated she would enjoy it too. Having identified as being hard straight for 50 years, it's quite a pivot. I think you'll find men can be quite curious about the penis but not necessarily any more.

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Adventurousones · 02/08/2023 07:28

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pendleflyer · 02/08/2023 08:03

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also quite common for women to fantasise about their man with another man - or any two men for that matter. I knew one woman who liked to watch a couple of gay male friends have sex. Another who didn't seem terribly sexually active herself who liked to pair up men (often married) to suck each other off in her presence. She described this to me as the innocent spare time little pleasure of a busy woman of a certain age.

I also knew a guy who got involved in threesomes with married couples - the main idea in one encounter was that both men would service the wife but at one point this guy said he took the husband into his mouth and at that point the wife "went wild" as he put it - ie went on to a new level of heat.

On the OP's post, it would imply some attraction to men to me for sure. Up to you whether you go ahead with it. Maybe sleep on it?

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WantingToEducate · 02/08/2023 08:15

pendleflyer · 02/08/2023 08:03

also quite common for women to fantasise about their man with another man - or any two men for that matter. I knew one woman who liked to watch a couple of gay male friends have sex. Another who didn't seem terribly sexually active herself who liked to pair up men (often married) to suck each other off in her presence. She described this to me as the innocent spare time little pleasure of a busy woman of a certain age.

I also knew a guy who got involved in threesomes with married couples - the main idea in one encounter was that both men would service the wife but at one point this guy said he took the husband into his mouth and at that point the wife "went wild" as he put it - ie went on to a new level of heat.

On the OP's post, it would imply some attraction to men to me for sure. Up to you whether you go ahead with it. Maybe sleep on it?

And I absolutely agree with this as I went through a phase of wanting to see my husband kiss another guy but he said absolutely not as he is not sexually attracted men. If I even broached the idea of him having sexual contact with another male he would be horrified.

Anyhow, women getting aroused by the idea of their partner being with another man isn’t relevant to OPs case at all seeing as it was her husband that suggested it, not her.

I understand that some straight men might be curious about the sensation of being penetrated but usually that involves asking their wife to be involved in pegging, not wanting to be have sex with another man with his wife excluded from the activity.

OP : you said your husband asked if he could have sex with another man in your presence? Can you clarify whether he sees that as an active 3some, or whether it’s just him and the guy as the main event with you just being in their presence I.e watching from the other side of the room or something? I only ask as your wording implies the latter as if your husband wanted you actively involved he surely would have just asked for a MMF threesome?

I just cannot imagine a straight guy wanting to have sex with another man unless he’s not as straight as he portrays himself to be…..

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pendleflyer · 02/08/2023 08:31

>>Anyhow, women getting aroused by the idea of their partner being with another man isn’t relevant to OPs case at all seeing as it was her husband that suggested it, not her.
well i know what you mean @WantingToEducate but it is always possible that just as the husband is exploring until now latent ideas, the OP might also have latent desires and might get something out of it. A lot of sexual desires/thoughts can be buried, deeply buried, for a long time. And one partner's thoughts can set the other off.
Partly why I suggested to sleep on it. And of course as I said all up to her as to whether anything happens.

Thanks for the honesty of your post.

>>I just cannot imagine a straight guy wanting to have sex with another man unless he’s not as straight as he portrays himself to be…
tend to agree

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Adventurousones · 02/08/2023 10:24

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JibbaJab · 02/08/2023 19:07

Hmm, I have at times as a random thought been like 'Wonder what it would be like...' but wouldn't act on it or want to tbh as I'm straight.

I dunno, maybe some men can but I would have thought you'd need some sort of attraction there to go as far as that?

If you're not comfortable with it don't be pressured though. Bit bold if you ask me.

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