Not wanting to wake OH with masturbating

[fitofthegiggles]

Not an earth-shattering issue in the grand scheme of things but often I wake at around 3am for no particular reason and struggle to get back to sleep which is very frustrating.

Occasionally I get up to make a cup of tea/read a book etc. but more often I stay in bed and just do my best to nod off again. For more years than I can now remember I've battled with various ways of getting back to sleep, relaxation techniques etc, without a huge success. I don't want to go down the medication route.

Something that has been quite successful sometimes is to masturbate and then drift off. The problem is I risk waking OH who really wouldn't appreciate it at that time in the morning so I'm a bit restrained or just stop and lie awake for ages. A couple of times I've actually lain on the floor next to my side of the bed, made myself come as quietly as could, and then climbed back in again! 😂

I don't want to disappear into the spare bedroom each time, which OH would think was odd, but just want to go back to sleep, in comfort, in my own bed. We do have good and regular sex but suggesting waking OH to join in or assist really wouldn't go down well at all!

I know this is really more a sleep than a sex issue but does anybody relate or have suggestions?

Have you sat down with your OH and explained your sleep issues, and the cure that you find works for you? If my partner told me about it and went on to say that it had nothing to do with a below par sex life, I'd have no problem at all if I were to woken up every now and then.

What problem do you think your OH would have? That your movement would disturb them or that you were doing it in the first place?

I wouldn't have any issue with my DP doing this.

My OH has woken me up doing this from time to time and I just pretend that I’m still asleep so I don’t ruin her moment. I’ve no idea how often she does it without me waking and I’ve no issue with it at all. Hopefully your OH might feel the same.

Are you male or female? As a female I think it's easier to do it without waking the other person as there's less movement required and men often seem to sleep more deeply. If you're a woman I'd just get on with it, if you're a man then I'd discuss it and see if she thinks it would wake her, you can always have a trial to see if she wakes.

I had a GF who did it in bed with me once. I let her finish and then allowed her the chance to find out what an effect it had had on me!

Used to do it quite a lot (we weren't having sex) and got very adept at doing it with very little movement. Not the most world-shattering orgasms, but did the trick.

I used to go and do it in the bathroom if I needed to masturbate and still do sometimes, but my hubby said he didn't mind if I woke him up by doing it so it's just whatever I feel like at the time.

Thanks everybody. Responses all really helpful. OH is actually very understanding but is quite a light sleeper too and I want to do as little as possible to disturb that. eg I don't flush the loo if I go in the night, make sure the bedroom door is closed so the cat doesn't jump on the bed etc! etc.

I don't think the fact of me masturbating would be an issue at all. We've got a good, mutually caring relationship and healthy and relaxed view about sex. We've always been aware that sometimes each of us has "solo time".

I'm not generally feeling particularly horny at the time just tired and desperate for sleep. Sex should be enjoyed for its own sake rather than as a remedy for insomnia! If something else would work I'd try it!

I used to do this when I had restless leg syndrome. Strangely it helped settle my legs. If I didn’t want to wake him I would go to the bathroom.

As a man I would find this quite thrilling - no matter how tired I would be.

Have you tried asking him to make you come BEFORE you go to bed?

Or maybe you watch each other masturbate? Have only done this once with my wife - when we first got together and she asked to watch me do it - and have to say it was very erotic and very satisfying...

Try CBD oil...there are some that help. I read a article from a local retired pro footballer who struggled like you. He was introduced to a specific CBD oil and says he gets full night sleep and if he wakes up for a pee he goes straight back to sleep after he's been. Take a trip to your nearest shop for info.

I often masturbate in bed to relax before sleeping, DH has noticed occasionally and then it turns into sex but mostly he sleeps through it.

@Anotherbloke1 Thank you. I'd not heard of CBD oil before but checked it out online. Holland and Barrett stock it. I'll give it a go when we're back off hol.