Does anyone else not enjoy oral sex?

MyTruthIsOut · 2023-07-14T20:35:18+00:00

I’m female and have never really enjoyed receiving oral sex. I have no problem performing it on my DH, but when he returns the favour I don’t really get anything from it. I feel uncomfortable and quickly put an end to it by either moving away or pulling his head up to kiss me instead. I always see women raving about receiving oral sex and it being the only way they can climax and it makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me. Does anyone else feel the same?

Surplus2requirements · 14/07/2023 22:01

We're all different and like/dislike different things. There's nothing wrong with you

MummyDummyNow · 14/07/2023 22:07

Nothing wrong with you at all, we all like and dislike different things.

However I will say I haven't always liked it, it's usually down to whoever's doing it technique.

Pokotho · 14/07/2023 22:25

I enjoy giving oral sex regardless of gender but I really don't enjoy receiving. I'm far too self conscious to let go enough to enjoy it and honestly most people who have tried have just been lacking in skill as well which didn't help.

BobOn · 14/07/2023 23:12

Maybe get your partner to read “she comes first”

I now get to go down on my wife whenever, because of this book

NoBiscuitsLeftInMyTin · 15/07/2023 07:33

2 of three long term relationships absolutely loved me going idown on them, but short term relationships didn’t oddly enough. Without going into too much info they absolutely loved it, by the noises, the physical reactions and often the squirting. But other ladies didn’t enjoy it. I’ve had people go down on me and given me awesome (surprise) blowjobs but if you’re not quite in the right mood, or the situation isn’t right then it just isn’t going to happen.

NoBiscuitsLeftInMyTin · 15/07/2023 07:36

BobOn · 14/07/2023 23:12

Maybe get your partner to read “she comes first”

I now get to go down on my wife whenever, because of this book

Any guy should make sure that “she comes first’”. I’m 46 and M and that has always been the rule, I can’t enjoy sex unless she has come at least one. Her enjoying is what gets me off.

Snoozysnoozy · 15/07/2023 07:38

My DW doesn't like oral. So on that score you're not alone. But I do feel like there's something missing.

Zanatdy · 15/07/2023 08:29

I’ve definitely saw other posts on here from women saying they don’t enjoy it, and from men saying their partner doesn’t enjoy it. I personally love it, guy I was seeing recently used to pull me by my legs to the bottom of the bed so he can kneel down to do it and god that drove me crazy! I was always asking him to drag me to the bottom of the bed (first time he did it he didn’t exactly drag me, but pulled me, but once I said I loved that he obviously did drag me, because he knew it turned me on so much). I guess for me I was in a lot of relationships with men who were happy to receive a BJ but never wanted to return the favour, so finding a man who loved to give oral was a real treat. But if you don’t like it, don’t do it. Sure your partner won’t mind as I guess most men aren’t that keen on doing it, but love receiving it back

pendleflyer · 15/07/2023 09:41

Zanatdy · 15/07/2023 08:29

I’ve definitely saw other posts on here from women saying they don’t enjoy it, and from men saying their partner doesn’t enjoy it. I personally love it, guy I was seeing recently used to pull me by my legs to the bottom of the bed so he can kneel down to do it and god that drove me crazy! I was always asking him to drag me to the bottom of the bed (first time he did it he didn’t exactly drag me, but pulled me, but once I said I loved that he obviously did drag me, because he knew it turned me on so much). I guess for me I was in a lot of relationships with men who were happy to receive a BJ but never wanted to return the favour, so finding a man who loved to give oral was a real treat. But if you don’t like it, don’t do it. Sure your partner won’t mind as I guess most men aren’t that keen on doing it, but love receiving it back

might seem like an odd question/divert but can I ask what it was about the dragging that you liked? You got off on the being dragged, with a certain implication of force? Or was it that it made him seem hungry?

StarlightLady · 15/07/2023 10:17

If I absolutely had to choose between penetrative sex or oral for the rest of my life (no alternatives), I would choose oral without a doubt.

That said, different people have different and some more advanced skills. OP, maybe you have been with the "wrong" people perhaps?

StormyDaze · 15/07/2023 10:57

BobOn · 14/07/2023 23:12

Maybe get your partner to read “she comes first”

I now get to go down on my wife whenever, because of this book

What was it you learnt from the book? I was thinking of buying it.

Zanatdy · 15/07/2023 11:01

pendleflyer · 15/07/2023 09:41

might seem like an odd question/divert but can I ask what it was about the dragging that you liked? You got off on the being dragged, with a certain implication of force? Or was it that it made him seem hungry?

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It just turns me on. I guess a bit of rough sex kind of thing, I do like that too, with a trusted partner.

Softskinrocks · 15/07/2023 12:34

I hated it for 25 years with my ex DH. Since then, I’ve discovered I love it. Knowing the other person really enjoys doing it is a massive thing. As is technique. Currently seeing someone and we both love giving and receiving as much as each other, which has been a complete revelation…

Softskinrocks · 15/07/2023 12:35

Zanatdy · 15/07/2023 11:01

It just turns me on. I guess a bit of rough sex kind of thing, I do like that too, with a trusted partner.

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I’m in complete agreement!

MovingonfromMartin · 15/07/2023 12:44

I didn't used to, it was all a bit dull, didn't really turn me on and I would get a bit bored. I have discovered that is doesn't have to be like that and in fact it's the most marvellous thing, and have now started to cum during it, which until recently, I had never done before. I therefore agree with a PP, it's definitely depends on the giver.

StarlightLady · 15/07/2023 12:47

@MovingonfromMartin I guess Martin wasn't good at it? 😆

A lot of people don't spend the required amount of time or understand the pressure level required.

MovingonfromMartin · 15/07/2023 12:54

Ha @StarlightLady I really need to change my username. He's long moved on from!
You are right though, it's absolutely the pressure. There really is an art to it.

changementdenom1 · 15/07/2023 15:07

My wife doesn't really enjoy receiving oral either. I really, genuinely don't think it's anything to do with my "technique" (although reading some of the posts here I'm wondering!) The shame (for me) is that I really love it and would be very happy spending a lot of time getting it just right for her, at her direction, guidance etc.

But I think - in fact she tells me when I've mentioned it - that she just doesn't find receiving especially comfortable or enjoyable, although she's happy to give it to me.

Typically I might kiss her briefly down there as part of foreplay and then she'll want me to move on to other things. I suspect you're not unusual and it's just that everyone is different.

Theft · 15/07/2023 16:22

I don't like oral sex on me. I wish I did as men seem to love giving it.

I think if my partner talked to me throughout about exactly what it was he liked, I'd be reassured. Ie. He likes this bit or that bit of my vulva, he likes the taste, smell....
It's just awks when he is quietly lapping away

Zanatdy · 15/07/2023 16:36

Theft · 15/07/2023 16:22

I don't like oral sex on me. I wish I did as men seem to love giving it.

I think if my partner talked to me throughout about exactly what it was he liked, I'd be reassured. Ie. He likes this bit or that bit of my vulva, he likes the taste, smell....
It's just awks when he is quietly lapping away

Your comment makes it sound like he’s getting more enjoyment from it than you. Why don’t you tell him that you enjoy him doing this bit, or that bit? Generally the person receiving is the one that’s benefiting the most from it. If you don’t enjoy it maybe because the giver isn’t giving properly. Men don’t always know what women enjoy, and previous partner might have liked something a current partner doesn’t. Sex is always better, whether oral or PIV if you communicate on what feels good, what you like

pendleflyer · 15/07/2023 17:01

Zanatdy · 15/07/2023 11:01

It just turns me on. I guess a bit of rough sex kind of thing, I do like that too, with a trusted partner.

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thanks for reply.

Hardtime · 15/07/2023 22:48

Zanatdy · 15/07/2023 16:36

Your comment makes it sound like he’s getting more enjoyment from it than you. Why don’t you tell him that you enjoy him doing this bit, or that bit? Generally the person receiving is the one that’s benefiting the most from it. If you don’t enjoy it maybe because the giver isn’t giving properly. Men don’t always know what women enjoy, and previous partner might have liked something a current partner doesn’t. Sex is always better, whether oral or PIV if you communicate on what feels good, what you like

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Whether you're male or female, I think it's easy to feel like a spare part or somehow excluded from proceedings when another person is performing oral and you're 'lying back and thinking of England'.
I would happily spend hours exploring the crinkly crevices of a loved one - the taste, texture and moistness of different parts are delicious - however, not everyone wants to receive it like that and while some women may appreciate their first orgasm of the session that way, many will like to finish after their first climax.
Always make sure that you have the owner's permission and understand their ground rules. Bon appetit.

DixonD · 15/07/2023 23:04

I really like it but I am really comfortable with my husband and am happy to just enjoy it while he gives it and not worry about what he’s thinking. I know he likes it because he doesn’t like to stop!

ArcticSkewer · 16/07/2023 07:02

absolutely love it, get multiple orgasms, but you need the right person and also the right technique.
I need to feel safe and relaxed.
They need to be good at it.
I like to be fingered, the 'come hither' movement on my inner clit at the same time.

Sorry but the idea of 'quiet lapping' sounds grim. My clit isn't a water bowl!

There are plenty of 'how to' guides out there.

If you can't relax and just let go in that position though, it's never going to be enjoyable.

DixonD · 16/07/2023 12:45

ArcticSkewer · 16/07/2023 07:02

absolutely love it, get multiple orgasms, but you need the right person and also the right technique.
I need to feel safe and relaxed.
They need to be good at it.
I like to be fingered, the 'come hither' movement on my inner clit at the same time.

Sorry but the idea of 'quiet lapping' sounds grim. My clit isn't a water bowl!

There are plenty of 'how to' guides out there.

If you can't relax and just let go in that position though, it's never going to be enjoyable.

That made me laugh with the water bowl comment!