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Another age related question….50’s this time.

21 replies

Deanlad1980 · 11/07/2023 10:23

My wife seems to think adventurous stuff is for youngsters (we’re 42 and 43!)
I don’t agree.
are folk still adventurous in there 50’s?
ie try new stuff, toys, watersports, oral both ways?
i will show her this post by the way

OP posts:
BonusHole · 11/07/2023 10:26

We do not do any of that stuff, never have and do not fancy trying it😅

Moredramathanrazzamatazz · 11/07/2023 10:41

While not commenting specifically on the activities you have raised, I would say the following. That many people are more adventurous in their 40s and beyond than previously. For some people they have a higher sex drive too. For me personally sex was better and more adventurous in my 40s than it was in my 20s. But, not everyone is going to feel the same about sexual activities they might like, and many things come into play such as body image, flexibility, libido, energy, menopause, post-birth differences or problems, erectile issues, health, how the relationship is, whether it's a long term partnership or a newer one. Teenagers at home versus having flown the nest (or no children) can make a difference and some 40-somethings have small children and that can be exhausting. So you are going to get a broad range of answers all of which are completely normal and fine. What's not fine is if you and your partner are very mismatched and can't find a way through it.

Hijinks75 · 11/07/2023 11:03

Speaking personally it would have to be no, I’d love to be but DWs sexual preferences seem to have become more vanilla the older we get

BobOn · 11/07/2023 11:05

We're at the youngest end of 50's and finding new things to try all the time.

I found the key was to communicate what turns me on about these things and take little steps on the journey to what your wife likes and what you both could enjoy together.

Because you are so much further ahead than your wife, it's very tempting to jump straight to what you want without giving your wife time to make her own journey.

e.g. If you don't do toys, try something that's not intimidating like a bullet vibe, rather than a scarily big monster dildo!

In terms of oral for her, it's very common for women to feel shame about their personal smell and taste, how they look down there... I let my wife know how that I can't get enough of the smell and taste of her and how I find her pussy beautiful - and that this is true for me even if she doesn't think it of herself!

Your wife might not want to think of herself as someone that does the kind of thing you want. If she thinks it's "slutty" or something "good girls don't do" then I'd suggest having a conversation about how this kind of social pressure stems from historic male repression of women - it's a feminist issue - her body is her own!

It's amazing the places you can end up together. Things that were a hard NO from my wife a while ago are becoming maybe's and yes's. She's now able to express her desires and realise that she's safe to do so with me.

I've found the journey is something to be enjoyed and is often more exciting than the destination.

myNewName21 · 11/07/2023 12:21

Hijinks75 · 11/07/2023 11:03

Speaking personally it would have to be no, I’d love to be but DWs sexual preferences seem to have become more vanilla the older we get

I think this is something that is true, my DW became increasingly boring in her middle age (50+) where as new people are much more open to pretty much anything ( also 50+)

tryingtogoveggyagain · 11/07/2023 12:32

It's a good question. We're mid-fifties and have been together since our mid-twenties. Over our first few years together we tried out pretty much all of the things we fancied doing. Some were fun for a while but probably we'd not be too bothered about going back to these days, or are just impractical. Been there, done that, kind of thing.

And the arrival of a young family (fantastic as that is), increase of work pressure, life in general etc invariably hampers imagination and energy and opportunities to explore anything new.

But that's not to say it can't sometimes happen. And rediscovering something we've not done for years can have a "new" and slightly naughty feel about it

But generally in terms of new/adventurous things that we'd want to try there's probably not that much left, although we're open to ideas, some of which can come up on this forum!

Sometimes a holiday away for just the two of us (we're now just getting to the stage we can do that) can stimulate impulsive and exciting ideas. And new things can occasionally just pop up out of the blue. Just this morning I posted something about our idea of combining pelvic floor (kegel) muscle exercises into sex. Probably not exactly revolutionary or particularly adventurous in the grand scheme of things but an example of new idea for us which we'd like to try out.

I don't think new and adventurous stuff is just for younger people although invariably a new relationship is likely to be a time of exciting, sexual discovery which comes much higher up life's priority pile than in subsequent years. But I'd say that by the fifties you have a much better idea of what you really both enjoy (obviously crucial in a long-term relationship), what is never going to float your boat, but - and I think this is the important thing - keeping an open mind that there may just be something new to suggest or explore.

Nocirculation · 11/07/2023 13:39

No, we're getting more adventurous. I'm in my early 50's never had more fun. It's just us, not involved anyone else.

Sweptwindy17 · 11/07/2023 14:18

I'm 51 and she's 43. We're both massively in to kink. Top of the list is the strap-on which she uses on me with a wonderful silicone dildo. We have an ever expanding list of silicone butt plugs which we wear when we're having sex when we choose to.

Then there's the gag collection - dental, ball, expanding. We're in to anal depth play and stretch play. Not quite managed anal fisting yet but ever so close now.

Breath play is also right up there as we both love being choked. Not anywhere near the danger zone. Just a firm grip or a rope or scarf.

The only thing we haven't sampled is having a third person join us. But there's an inevitability about that. I wouldn't call it being adventurous. It's just a case of having multiple ice-creams put in front of you and trying all of them.

WtP · 11/07/2023 18:14

I was with my late wife from teens & until her MS made it impossible we seemed to get more adventurous & kinky as the years passed.
She died 4 years ago & last year I felt ready to love again. I was really surprised how much easier it was to get straight back into living out my sexual desires & that of my new partner.
I guess once in your 50's you feel much more secure in your own self & you accept bodies have aged and won't be the image that the media portrays for fun & frolics.
But IMO that's the best bit as I know we can never live up to the body perfect image and its the ultimate intimacy without judgement that brings people together. I can talk so much more openly with my partner than I could in my 20's that is another benefit of NGAF 😃

GentlemanJay · 11/07/2023 21:11

The most adventurous women I've met are late 40s and 50s. They have the confidence to get what they want and have stopped worrying about body confidence issues.

AverageGuy · 12/07/2023 10:04

I'm in my early 60's and haven't tried everything I'd like to try, and see no reason I can't keep exploring & experimenting as long as I'm fit & healthy enough to do so! Grin

StarlightLady · 12/07/2023 10:36

40s so slightly younger than 50s, but I plan on getting there one day 😀.

As for being adventurous, I'm the same as in my late teens, I know what I like. Oral and toys have always been on the menu; no oral - no entry. Never into watersports.

Sex is not age related.

Zanatdy · 13/07/2023 06:33

Definitely not. I’ve had a lot of ‘vanilla’ sex, met a guy in my mid 40’s and he’s taken me to new heights! All stuff I’ve wanted to do I guess but finding a partner who is keen and it’s naturally led to more adventurous sex. I’ve loved it. Never too old to explore a bit more kink. Buy some toys online and explore a few fantasies together

Teabag01 · 14/07/2023 08:51

I agree with you. I'm 65, wife is 62. I have a high sex drive, my wife doesnt. Sex life with my wife is more or less flat. Whenever I used to suggest anything sexual, she was never in the mood - so its down to whenever she suggests it now, which is not very often. If I do suggest it or complain we don't have it often enough, I feel like some sort of sex maniac. Sex between us is generally about once a month, it is very enjoyable but the same every time. Ive bought her sexy underwear to wear to bed in the past, she wears it a few times and then doesnt bother. I would love to use some sex toys, I have bought one recently to use between us, but I havent suggested it to her because she probably won't be interested.

BobOn · 14/07/2023 15:11

Hi @Teabag01 just for information - for some ladies the low sex drive can be caused by low testosterone and that can be got through the NHS

Binningtonianrose · 14/07/2023 21:52

Definitely experienced some wild and satisfying times since getting divorced at 45.
More confident and happy with my body too.

pinkyredrose · 22/08/2023 20:20

Do you actually like your wife or do you just want to use her as a sex toy?

PinotPony · 22/08/2023 21:28

pinkyredrose · 22/08/2023 20:20

Do you actually like your wife or do you just want to use her as a sex toy?

Where did you get that from!? 🤣

PinotPony · 22/08/2023 21:32

OP, in my late 40s and more adventurous and exploratory than I ever was when younger. I've been fortunate enough to stumble upon a community of liberated people from whom I've learnt a great deal. I've tried a variety of new things, some of which I've liked, others I've not repeated, but it's a fantastic journey of discovery.

pinkyredrose · 22/08/2023 21:44

PinotPony · 22/08/2023 21:28

Where did you get that from!? 🤣

By reading previous posts of the Op's.

Mozzie1 · 23/08/2023 13:22

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Previously banned poster.

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