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Original poster

Use of toys together... how much is too much?

16 replies

glovepillow22 · 10/07/2023 14:47

Guess I am looking for a bit of reassurance here, at the start of our relationship I could always usually come on top, during PIV. We introduced sex toys and gradually as time has gone on, I can still finish on top with PIV but it is nowhere near as intense or as enjoyable as it is using a vibrator once DH is finished.

Anyone else use toys to orgasm all the time? Or is this a bad habit I am getting into?

DH does not seem to mind and often encourages me to finish with a toy after PIV , although I am conscious of him feeling "unwanted". Help?!

OP posts:
onefinemess · 10/07/2023 15:44

I think you'll find most guys wouldn't object. They get to watch you play and don't have to go to the effort of making you come.

They get a free show and you get exactly what you need.

It's a win win.

RainbowLadybird · 10/07/2023 16:24

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. Especially since your partner is happy with it. You both get what you need and get the most pleasure out of it. Have you tried using a toy whilst also doing PIV? I really enjoy that

Nocirculation · 10/07/2023 16:27

Just carry on, he'll enjoy watching.

DixonD · 10/07/2023 16:30

onefinemess · 10/07/2023 15:44

I think you'll find most guys wouldn't object. They get to watch you play and don't have to go to the effort of making you come.

They get a free show and you get exactly what you need.

It's a win win.

Yep. It’s this I’d say. As long as you’re both happy with what you do I don’t think it matters. You’re still having fun.

myNewName21 · 10/07/2023 18:15

i suppose the only issue possible would be if you prefer using a toy over having partnered sex, how would you feel if your husband preferred masturbation over having sex with you?

Bexx87 · 10/07/2023 19:06

myNewName21 · 10/07/2023 18:15

i suppose the only issue possible would be if you prefer using a toy over having partnered sex, how would you feel if your husband preferred masturbation over having sex with you?

I don't know if you're male or female but I feel like women using a vibrator and men masturbating aren't equal. I have some really satisfying orgasms with my husband, but in my opinion, a wand vibrator does amazing things to my clit that no man could ever compete with. Not that I prefer using that to sex, though.

MovingonfromMartin · 10/07/2023 19:38

I don't often easily orgasm, probably because when I do it's 🎆.
I invariably have to involve a toy during sex because sometimes I need a bloody pneumatic drill to get me off and men aren't fitted with those as standard. My fella is not in the slightest bit bothered if it's him or a toy that gets me there. Sometimes he uses it on me or sometimes I'm the operator. Either way it's delightful for us both.
I disagree with @myNewName21, masturbation with a partner with you is very hot for both parties.

myNewName21 · 10/07/2023 19:39

@Bexx87 I was really referring to preferences more than equality, if someone gets to a point when they prefer solo sex ( toys or whatever ), over partnered sex then it’s a problem.

myNewName21 · 10/07/2023 19:45

@MovingonfromMartin I think you have misunderstood my point, how would you feel if your partner said he preferred masturbating to having sex with you.

Vice versa how do you think he would feel if you told him that you preferred using a toy over having sex with him ?

MovingonfromMartin · 10/07/2023 20:04

This is not what the OP is saying. She says her orgasm is better with toys. Masturbation doesn't have to be done in only your own company and neither does orgasming with toys.

myNewName21 · 10/07/2023 20:08

MovingonfromMartin · 10/07/2023 20:04

This is not what the OP is saying. She says her orgasm is better with toys. Masturbation doesn't have to be done in only your own company and neither does orgasming with toys.

Use of toys together... how much is too much?

a preference is too much…

Original poster
glovepillow22 · 10/07/2023 20:13

@mymyNewName21 I would prefer to have a better orgasm every time but I wouldn't chose solo masterbation over sex with my partner. It's using the toy together to achieve orgasm (sometimes I use it, sometimes he does), my worry is whether it's healthy to rely so much on toys when I can achieve it with my partner, albeit not as good 🤣

OP posts:
myNewName21 · 10/07/2023 20:29

i think you should use a toy whenever you want, but it might become a problem if you prefer reaching for a toy over reaching for your partner 🤷🏼

Nocirculation · 10/07/2023 21:51

We involve toys almost every time, we both enjoy it. My wife either needs a tongue or a toy to get there but she also loves straight piv sex

Zanatdy · 11/07/2023 07:53

I’d probably avoid using a toy everytime, but I totally get what you’re saying, much better orgasms with a wand than during PIV. I find it harder to come during PIV than I did when younger. I’m not sure if it’s because I had many years with no sex (when single) and little masturbation as I seemed to have zero desire. But since meeting someone late last year and having pretty amazing sex with him my sex drive has returned. I always used to come when on top, quite quickly too but don’t seem to now. I’d like to return though, as I’d rather have an orgasm during PIV than having to use a wand afterwards personally. That’s not to say the orgasm wouldn’t be better with the wand, but I can see why some men might get a bit upset about that

Gandtonicc · 13/07/2023 19:06

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