Met a man with the hope and expectation of having sex, but he couldn't get an erection

[Failuretoperform]

I recently met a man in person whom I initially started talking to on an app. He is in his 30s and seemingly fit and healthy. To put it bluntly, we didn't have intercourse because he couldn't get a hard enough erection to facilitate it. The best way I could describe it would be that it was semi-hard (or semi-flaccid, depending on one's outlook). It didn't get any harder. I didn't make a fuss about it, but the guy was clearly flustered and embarrassed. I was trying my best to turn him on and get him fully hard, but it just wasn't happening. He did use his hands and tongue on me, rather effectively I must say, but I really wanted to have sex. I haven't previously had an experience where the man couldn't perform, though I also haven't had a huge amount of partners. Should I just move on? Tell him to use Viagra if I see him again?

Speaking from experience. Give him a chance. I met someone for sex. We both knew that we were going to have sex. The first time was amazing in many ways and I came multiple times but he couldn't stay hard and didn't cum because he was overwhelmed by how turned on I was and he couldn't quite believe it was happening to him. We stuck it out and each time, we have improved together, and many months down the line, we are enjoying extremely hot and rather epic sex. He is also the most talented cunnilinguist that I've ever had the pleasure of entertaining me.

Make sure he knows how much you enjoyed yourself and that it doesn't matter if he can't get/stay hard because he was so good with his hands and tongue. He doesn't need to know it bothers you, because it will certainly bother him more.

Most likely performance anxiety. I wouldn’t give up on things that quick, you say he pleasured you in other ways so it’s clear your pleasure is a priority for him.

He might have been nervous. I wouldn't write him off just yet, only if it's an ongoing problem.

Definitely be a little patient with him. He'll likely be upset he couldn't maintain a hard enough cock to do the deed fully. He wants to give you pleasure clearly, so hopefully just nerves. Happens to the best of us, sometimes. Next time, take It slow, build up gradually, and hopefully he'll stay rock hard throughout.

As a male who experienced this from the other foot, I’d say give him a chance, it’s bloody awful when this happens and as soon as you’ve realised it you’ve got no hope!!
I only experienced it the once and can’t really say why it happened either, over excitement I think.

It definitely sounds like nerves and as he was flustered, he probably didn’t expect it. I expect he was overwhelmed by the whole thing and I would certainly be giving him another chance or two.

You have only presented things from your perspective and given no thought to his perspective. Sleeping with a woman for the first time can be a very anxious situation. It implies a deeper intimimacy that he may not be comfortable with yet hence his penis is speaking for his subconscious.

Having read your content, I think this guy is actually better off not pursuing a relationship with you. You probably aren't compatible in the long-run. You need someone who is more of a "robotic" male and less sensitive.

tend to agree with others, probably all in his head, once you get flustered it’s all downhill from there.

you could try again and find everything works how it should

Agree in giving him a chance. It was probably nerves, and maybe he had been drinking?

Definitely don’t ask him to bring Viagra.

I agree with others that if you like him, give him some more time.

Just on the erectile issue- from experience with men far older than yours - men can still cum when not hard enough for PIV.

I would NOT mention viagra etc. He knows they exist, he could do that off his own bat, if he wanted to.

Early days.

I have had this a few times, literally just the first time with someone I don't know super well yet. Give it another go or two. If it happens don't focus on it just do other stuff.

If you like him don't move on.

Hi. I just wanted to post an update. I ended up seeing him again and on that occasion, he had no problems getting an erection. I told him I liked it when he pleasured me with his hands and tongue, and that he was welcome to do that again. He did so enthusiastically until I had an orgasm. I returned the favour on him, then the rest just happened naturally from there. We had some really nice sex. He said he wanted to make amends for the first time when he couldn't get hard, and he certainly delivered on that front.

@Failuretoperform
good update!

I think it’s something that some women don’t really understand, how a man feels about someone and how much blood flows into his penis are not 100% related all the time , all men are acutely aware of the “failure to perform “ situation