Sex clubs as a couple

[Needanewnamecantthinkofanythinggood]

My partner and I want to go to our first sex club. We have chosen the club and the night to go, however we have both made it clear to each other our boundaries include we do not want to play with others.

I have told them that this is fine, people there are respectful and if we do get any offers, all we have to do is say "No thank you, we only play with each other" and they will respect that, but they are mindful that swapping/group play is expected and we will be asked to leave if we don't partake. I've told them not to worry and that won't happen, but it's still in the back of their mind.

Please can anyone who has been/does go to clubs just reassure us that this is the case, and playing as a couple is absolutely fine.

We want to go to be around others who are free and comfortable in this lifestyle, they are on a bit of a sexual journey and this is something we have both wanted to do. They have an exhibitionist streak to them and looking forward to a BDSM or fetish night, and the chance to wear clothing that they wouldnt normally get a chance to.

Thank you!

Have you looked up the clubs policies? Most are very clear about what is and isn't expected and I have never seen one that 'expected' swapping, group play or even any play at all.
Most are very, very clear about active consent in each moment and breaching that will get you thrown out. By attending you are NOT consenting to anything.
I've attended several and have both not played and played only with my partner

Thank you, this is as I thought, I just think they needed to hear it from someone who has been as well.

Much obliged to you

Clubs can be whatever you want them to be. On a sliding scale of sitting in the bar all night fully clothed to having full on group sex.

Just have a couple of excuses ready. Anything along the lines of "thank you, but we are only enjoying each others company tonight".

Really nothing to get concerned about.

If you are wanting a really easy introduction, pick a club that is not dress down on entry. That may be a little daunting for new visitors.

How bizarre is this
Myself and my partner literally went to our first club last night
We didn't play with anyone other than each other (quick visit to the dungeon room to make use of the st Andrews cross)
The club was very laid back and really nice ( granted it was a very quiet night with 3 other couples and a few single guys)
The club management was absolutely fantastic and there are plenty of signs to remind people no means no and there's no pressure to do anything at all
The one single guy that did get told no thanks left pretty quick to avoid embracement

This is something me and dw have talked about. We're both getting curious about 'opening up' our marriage but really want to ease ourselves into it gently so we know both of us are comfortable if we decide we want to take things any further. Whats a good place to find out about these club nights, it sounds like just what we need?

Embracement? Some sort of dungeon procedure?

Sorry my mistake for not proof reading before hitting the post button
It should have read embarrassment 🤦🤦

Are there any non dress down straight away clubs anyone can recommend?

The best two none dress down clubs I've been to are, Liberty Elite, Lutterworth and Vanilla Alternative, Tempsford.

Thank you @GentlemanJay

What area are you in?

North West but happy to travel so I'll check these out.

Chorley. No3 club.

Just an update on this, we went to the club on weds evening. Bit disappointing as it was just a social and most of the club wasn't open, it was a fetish night. My partner and I didn't play at the club, there wasn't much playing going on but did see some shibari and a good spanking session.

We spoke to some of the regulars and had a good chat with the host.

I have a rare sat night off tonight and we were going away for the weekend, so we have decided to start the weekend early and go to another club this evening. Few nerves already but really looking forward to it.

What does dress down mean? I would love to go to a club but unsure of all the lingo and etiquette

Dress down mean, as soon as you enter you strip down to lingerie. This may be a bit daunting for first timers. Also ladies like to dress up in a nice dress or fav outfit to go out for a night. If this is you, then try a different club.

We've been to swingers clubs and if you only want to play as a couple that is perfectly fine. We have many times. Any one you speak just make sure they understand your boundaries. My wife and I love to watch and be watched and if we do get together with another couple it is soft swap only.

Have a look at the club policies and you will find that no. 1 rule is generally that no means no.

Also, go on a couples only night. Any couples we have met are usually very pleasant and fully understand that everyone has different expectations.

We were also worried about being pressured into something we weren't comfortable with. But honestly, it was a positive experience for us. Most people at these clubs are respectful of boundaries. We made it clear from the start that we were there just for ourselves, and that was totally respected. It's true that some clubs might have different vibes, but in our case, everyone was very understanding and professional. If you're ever feeling a bit skeptical about all this, you can always check out sites like tosituhma.com for more reassurance and personal stories from others who've been in similar situations. It's great to hear that you're both exploring this together, though!