How does your partner watching porn make you feel

[febbabies2023]

If you don't watch porn, but your partner does, do you mind and how does it make you feel?

It's not an open conversation I've ever had with DP but I know he watches it (god knows when?!) and I'm not sure how I feel about it

Probably my own insecurities but I'd like to know how others feel about it I guess

There's a real dichotomy with this post. In terms of porn consumption, I'd suggest It is best to watch/consume as a couple, but not to get disturbed if your partner indulges. The cat is well and truly out of the bag. As a guy, I'd not mind at all if my partner watched frequently, moreover, I'd love to join in. Best to use porn as illustrative examples of sexual proclivities, preferences, and predispositions, not as a sexual roadmap. Easy to feel insecure, but It is difficult to stop entirely your partner consuming content if they wish. Being overly controlling Isn't attractive for anyone, but there's a balance to strike between paying attention to your sex life, your partner, and porn consumption. Porn should ideally come way down the list of activities, particularly if everything is healthy in the bedroom/the relationship. On the other hand, porn can be wildly inventive, and can spark sexual innovation.

Guy I’ve been seeing on and off is a big porn watcher. It genuinely has never bothered me. We watched some together too. I think if he was watching a lot of porn and minimal sex I’d have had an issue but the sex was amazing so I had no complaints. I think a lot of men like watching porn, sometimes secretly if their wife’s or partners don’t like it. If it bothers you a lot you need to speak to him about it, but I suspect he’d then do it in secret. I don’t really watch porn on my own, maybe now and then and I do think too much can affect me sometimes, the old death grip etc.

My dh watches occasionally, I think he watches a variety but he did confess a few years ago that since being with me (I'm a red head) he started seeking out "red headed" porn which I quite liked.

We tries watching together but had very different tastes, he likes a story to watch but I don't

The important thing I think is not to get totally 'sucked in'.....sorry no pun intended! It can be useful for ideas and is great to watch together, but don't let it take over. As a man, if you aren't getting much sex then sometimes you just want to be exposed to something sexual. I suppose it's often the same for women.

As long as it doesn’t impact on our sex life, I don’t bother myself. In terms of insecurity: I’ve never expected that I’d be the only person on earth that DH finds sexy (he certainly isn’t the only man I find sexy, after all) so it doesn’t particularly bother me that he does find other women sexy. And I’m not insecure about not looking like a smoking hot porn actress. The reason I don’t look like a porn actress is because they are actresses who make a living out of their appearance, and I make a living in financial services. If I cared enough about my appearance and was willing to put that level of effort into it, I could also have those looks. But I don’t, so I don’t. Fair’s fair. I can’t get upset about it.

It’s also fine for you not to like it. You don’t have to like or put up with something just because others do. It’s a conversation worth having with DP.