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Original poster

Anyone ever get bored?!

8 replies

bawchops · 21/06/2023 23:37

I am married and have been for >10years. We have kids and so I totally appreciate that time and space is something that is in short supply.

However, a separate thread asking about wild passionate sex got me thinking. I used to have that. Some of my best sex has been in weird and wonderful places- spontaneous, a bit dangerous- now I am pretty much resigned to sex in bed once the kids are asleep. I love it, and is great to connect. But would be lying if I said I didn't miss the earlier stuff too...

Is this normal?

OP posts:
JulieS1 · 22/06/2023 00:30

I think this is common (unfortunately) I have young children, and although I love them to bits, we get very little time for sex. That time we do get its rushed to get it out the way and not disturbed, Nothing like what we used to get up to pre kids! I miss it and to be honest frustrated by it but not sure of the solutions.

Nocirculation · 22/06/2023 07:19

We've been together 20 yrs and I totally agree. Pre kids -Great, kids-Difficult, no time, brain full, tired. Kids now getting older (youngest is 11)- Much better!!!

Original poster
bawchops · 22/06/2023 07:39

Nocirculation · 22/06/2023 07:19

We've been together 20 yrs and I totally agree. Pre kids -Great, kids-Difficult, no time, brain full, tired. Kids now getting older (youngest is 11)- Much better!!!

This gives me hope! My youngest is still in nappies so am definitely in the difficult stage

OP posts:
Hijinks75 · 22/06/2023 18:13

Goes in cycles methinks, great and in various places, sometimes risky to begin, then kids and bed only, kids grow up bit of variety now back to bed and pretty boring

MyMachineAndMe · 22/06/2023 18:36

My DC are now 10&12 and dh and I occasionally sneak a day off together whilst they're at school so we can enjoy the whole day for different reasons. It's great.

During the holidays we sometimes send them to friends' or relatives' houses for a break and, again, we occasionally sneak in a bit of a session there too.

Late nights and early mornings all work, though of course we are obviously in bed rather than anywhere else.

Don't forget that you can add excitement through toys etc too: it doesn't always have to be outside or wherever for it to be exciting!

Nocirculation · 23/06/2023 07:11

MyMachineAndMe · 22/06/2023 18:36

My DC are now 10&12 and dh and I occasionally sneak a day off together whilst they're at school so we can enjoy the whole day for different reasons. It's great.

During the holidays we sometimes send them to friends' or relatives' houses for a break and, again, we occasionally sneak in a bit of a session there too.

Late nights and early mornings all work, though of course we are obviously in bed rather than anywhere else.

Don't forget that you can add excitement through toys etc too: it doesn't always have to be outside or wherever for it to be exciting!

Ha! We do exactly the same. We've even lied to my in-laws in the past, saying that we were both going away for work to get them to look after the kids. We went five miles down the road and booked into a hotel. You've got get creative! Having a family is lovely but it can actually be quite damaging to your relationship

Sens · 23/06/2023 12:00

Guys with young kids: It is very important that you ensure that you get good time without the kids now and then! Lie to your parents if needed! Ask your friends you take them for one night and then return the favour. This is much more important then most people realize, the relationship can be in danger. So do it for the kids (they actually love the change of environment).

JulieS1 · 23/06/2023 16:06

Sens · 23/06/2023 12:00

Guys with young kids: It is very important that you ensure that you get good time without the kids now and then! Lie to your parents if needed! Ask your friends you take them for one night and then return the favour. This is much more important then most people realize, the relationship can be in danger. So do it for the kids (they actually love the change of environment).

HI. Your message is really important. It's easy for us to moan about lack of time to have adult time without kids, and can get brushed under the carpet as just life. I know everyone is different and to some its not an issue, but for majority its a human need and really difficult to go without. I would not be unfaithful but do understand why some people do (don't necessarily agree), but if that happens it can be a real issue staying in the relationship which isn't good for all. Going weeks without anything is not right (and frustrating!) But even worse is starting and not being able to finish due to interruptions. Think this is an important thread to offer help and advice

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