Past talk turn on

[awkwardsexchat]

Not sure if anyone else does this. Partner likes to hear about past sex/things I've done and I have entertained it as it turns him on, it doesn't do it for me.
In fact it has now started having the complete opposite effect that it turns me completely off.
Prior to current partner sex for me was rubbish, never got to finish and just generally it felt selfish from all of the people I have been with and I hadn't really been with many.
Sex with current partner is very good, I get to finish and I enjoy it, we try different things and there's lots we probably still will try.
But this is becoming a real sticking point for me. I've brought up so many times that it doesn't do it for me at all, I have compromised in saying I will chat about that occasionally, but it's still way too often for me and I find I'm having to say no a lot. I think he doesn't properly understand as it's just talk and he likes it, why I have such an issue with it. But it makes me not want to do it at all.
Anyone else's partner like this and they don't? Or have any tips on how to approach it to make it clear how I feel about it without it seeming like I'm just being awkward?

Must admit am intrigued why he finds it so exciting if as you say your past experiences were generally so poor.

My wife thinks that her past experiences are irrelevant, she finds talking about it needless at best. I like it though, I find it interesting. Not sure if it actually turns me on though.

Strange one this, sure a lot of men don’t actually enjoy hearing about partners past sexual experiences , I definitely don’t, certainly wouldn’t turn me on, maybe that’s just me . As you’ve told him you don’t like it it’s odd he persists

It could easily turn them on if they have a jealous kink

Honestly no idea. Seems more like a 'competition' as such, like if anything was different he wants to try and do better.
He says it's like porn, in his head but more real. To be honest I'd rather he just watched porn!

Not sure if he just doesn't believe me when I say it was poor/I didn't really enjoy it.

I didn't mind as much discussing little bits to begin with as a knowledge of past sort of thing. But now it's more specifically being used as a turn on and I feel I'm repeating myself about it. It just gets on my nerves and turns me off so seems counterproductive.

I don't even think it's that. It's more of a what did they do different and how could I do better. Even though I've said it's already better as I actually enjoy it!

Though this is starting to make me not!!

I am the same I don't like hearing about his at all.

I agree it's strange. Kinks are I guess. I'm pretty open and will try different stuff but this one's just grating on me and feel I need to say I'm not doing it anymore. I was happy to agree to do so occasionally before. But now regretting that as it's being talked about way more often than I'd like.

Interesting is fine, this is kind of how it started and I was ok with that. Knowing about past and what you liked/didn't is fine. But this has gone a bit beyond being just interest now.

Is it possible @awkwardsexchat that he has a cuck thing?
Has he ever talked about?
Some women (not saying you at all) do, especially these days, like to talk about previous/current sex experiences -maybe linked to certain exhibitionist tendencies.
I did know someone who liked to talk about stuff as we lay around - sometimes I found this a turn-on. But once in the middle of sex she went into a natter about a previous vaguely similar experience - lost my erection - not through envy or any sense of inadequacy - just thought - "are we here having sex or not"! Can we maybe live in the moment?

anyways if you are finding this a bore you need to tell him - explore other stuff.

I guess we have talked about Cuck sort of stuff. We've discussed watching with other people. Which I would be willing to think about/explore.
I wouldn't have an issue as such talking about doing things with other people as in what I would do for fantasy or what he would do.

For me it's the specifically talking about previous experiences. They hold nothing but bad memories for me 99% of the time, it was rubbish, selfish and I wasn't satisfied, so I just don't really want to talk about it. Talking about for interest is fine to an extent. But talking about to get 'warmed up' is only gonna make me cold and not in the mood at all!

I have expressed this to him, but it seems it's the past stuff that turns him on more, for him cause he knows it's real rather than fantasy.

I think I'm just going to have to say no each time, and that it's becoming a deal breaker for me. And hope he can be turned on by the fantasy stuff instead. I can't continue talking about it any more that's for sure!

sounds like you've got a way forward @awkwardsexchat
enjoy

You could just make it up.

Unusual to want to hear about a DP's experiences.
Hearing about the fun that other real people do, especially some kinks can be a powerful turn-on. Much more than anonymous porn writing.

@awkwardsexchat

Interesting that you mention cuckolding. I'd say that ties in very much with him being interested in what you've done with other men.

If you like the idea, you could try cucking him and see if he really does like it.

Already kind of ventured into that territory because I was bored of repeating myself but don't even want to do that now, cause still repetitive

We have discussed this and it could potentially be a way forward. But I think what he would want to see would be different to what I'd want to do. Which is why we've never ventured into it yet.

You've told him you don't like doing this. He's ignoring you. Time to put your foot down.

"I'm not going to do that anymore because it's a huge turn off for me. Please stop asking me to do it."

What about writing it somewhere so if he wants to read it he can but you don't have to keep telling him? Would that work for him? If not then he needs to get over it as you've clearly had enough.

I suppose the problem is that men can often be quite immature. They often can't see how they may look from another's point of view. If they are like this then I'm not sure if they can change much. I often feel sympathy for straight women as the choice of men out there can be pretty poor

The defintiely have been recently I kind of just entertained it cause it was easier as we often do! But now no I'm done with it so will just be saying no.

Will suggest this good idea!

Yeah I don't think he's deliberately being this way. He just likes it and doesn't realise how often he does it and when I'm not into it at all.

I'm tempted to suggest you find something that turns him off and then repeatedly do it. He'll understand then.

But personally, I do think you telling him you don't like it and it turns off should be enough