Boyfriend joked about giving me a smacked bottom - I loved it

[Curioussss]

probs quite mild in the grand scheme of things but it worked for me.

we were chatting about me doing something innocuous that he doesn’t approve of while we were out with friends and he whispered in my ear (jokingly), well, I’m glad you didn’t do that because I would have had to give you a smacked bottom…

I laughed, played along saying how I would enjoy that and later on he brought it up again. He had a surprise for one of his friends and I mentioned how excited I was but didn’t want to ruin the surprise for him. He responded that if I’d done that he really would have had to give me a smacked bottom, a bit more sternly this time but still obviously playful.

We’ve never experimented with this before but I’ve mentioned in passing how I really enjoy him being dominant with me in the bedroom and to an extent, playfully, in life (romantically). We are equals in every other sense and I have quite a demanding / male-dominated job so I assume it be the cliche of enjoying relinquishing control and occasionally “submitting” to someone.

anyone know how I can play on this a little more and encourage him to explore this with me? I don’t think I’m into BDSM as such, more what I outlined above. It really does it for me when he gets a bit stern with me, I’m not sure what I want out of it though or how to progress it?

Get some under the bed restraints. My husband gets off on seeing me helpless and knowing he can do whatever he likes. He is very dominant with me and I love it.

Good idea! Thanks

and on the spanking side of things? How do I explore that. I find it weirdly exciting being sternly punished like a naughty schoolgirl.

it’s not so much the spanking that I like (although I think i would, have not done that yet apart from playful snacks on the bum that he gives me), more the dominance and tension-building aspect.

I'd just let your mind wander OP/fantasise and take your lead from that. Maybe think back to anything you have come across before (maybe in an apparently innocent film or performance whatever) that has unexpectedly turned you on. Do some reading. I can recommend some books by a female author if you are interested - a sexual imagination nurtured in the erotic swamp that is Accrington.
Anyways, enjoy.

Yes please @pendleflyer what is her name? Thanks btw

here:
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/10408411-asking-for-trouble?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=Hlf9DxCz14&rank=11#CommunityReviews

apart from the erotic content (pure filth) she is actually a very good writer. Has a real sense of place. Comes across in that book and also in another set in Hastings. She has written several things, not sure if she is still writing erotica - have a vague idea that she may have moved on to other areas.

How about you treat it as a bit of role play, either tell him you did that innocuous thing or let him catch you doing it (as long as its not too crazy) and just bend over in front of him and say go on then.... see if he does what you want him to

Once again I recommend googling 'old mojo upgrade' to find out what you and your man might like to do by way of BDSM. You will not regret it.

I love a bit of spanking, gently and nothing too much. Also a bit of light restraint. My long term ex we never did anything like that but guy I’ve been seeing recently was quite dominant in bed and I loved it. He’s obviously very experienced sexually and watches a fair bit of porn and I loved having sex with him. Maybe browse love honey together, I’ve got some of the under bed restraints but not used them yet, but can’t wait to!

Referencing schoolgirls. 🤮

Sorry it’s obviously consenting and not actually that i fantasise about being young, just a change in the power dynamic!!!!

Can you just say to him that it turned you on when he threatened to smack you? Or if he says it again just say you wish he would?

Agree with this - I would just be open with him! Communication is everything. He's said it to you more than once, seems he's clearly into it himself so I don't think you have to be worried he'll be shocked and think you're somehow depraved!

How do I say it? Feel quite awkward.

Thanks for the advice btw I feel like I’ll just blurt it out tho lol

You’re in a relationship with him, if you can’t communicate, you’ve got massive issues that need addressing before anything else. I’m always shocked at the amount of people that can’t talk to their partner properly. It’s worrying when you’re having a sexual relationship yet can’t speak up for whatever reason.

And yes, let’s not be talking about schoolgirls. Ffs.

@DiggingDogs youre being quite patronising. We communicate really well generally. Just shy about this

youre being quite patronising. We communicate really well generally. Just shy about this

I don’t think you communicate as well as you think you do if you can’t say this to the person you have sex with. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Curioussss, this all about communication, and you simply must overcome your shyness. Once you say, 'Remember when you spoke about spanking me the other day? Well, I've been thinking,' the ice is broken and you can take it from there.

As an example of how chances can be missed, may I relate how when some years ago a FWB of mine asked whether I'd ever tried watersports? I told her that I had, but wasn't that keen. It turned out later when we were still friends, but without the benefits, that what she really ought to have said was, 'I get hugely turned on by being peed on. I'd love you to pee on me when I am masturbating, would you consider doing so?' Of course, I'd have willingly done so if I'd known how much fun it was for her - but the opportunity was lost. I regret to this day that I never read between the lines, so please don't fall into the same trap. Say what needs to be said.

Best wishes.