Encouraging DP to be more dominant

[Outdoorsyldy]

DP is quite submissive in bed and often than not, I take the lead, I would love him to be more dominant.
He’s a quieter person so I don’t know if this is just his personality or with some encouragement, I may be able to encourage a more dominant side?

Have you spoke to him about what you would like? My dh will now be dominant on bed, he wouldn't be to start with but we spoke about it and I showed him toys I would like is to use, and showed him porn I wanted us to do. He's very good at it now

Could you tell him in advance that he's 'in charge' next time? Tell him that you won't do anything unless he asks you too.

I found this really good for me too, as the often dominant one (ie bossy cow in bed!)

It is a process (Cliche I know) but it can take time and every step can be enjoyable.

Start slow, build a little more into it as you go. My wife is a real 'handful' in every day life, very robust. However, she enjoys me using a crop on her in bed! Off at first, but I'm getting onto it now.

"Odd at first" even!

Be aware that he may just not be the dominant type. Perhaps being submissive is where he feels comfortable & happy.

Definitely worth a discussion!

Some good advice, thank you.
Averageguy I think you may be right.

In my experience of role play (not extensive), being dominant isn't easy. For example, if my partner has been 'a naughty girl', it's enjoyable for both of us to have her bend over my knee and receive a few light slaps on her bottom, followed by a sensual massage that ends with her getting all wet... how very naughty. On the other hand, when we role play sometimes and she's being a French maid (say) or a hotel room cleaner and I'm the customer, it feels uncomfortable being dominant in these situations. I never know what to say and get tongue tied. Somehow it doesn't flow right and seems forced. Something I know she'd like me to work on and I know that if I could just let go of my inhibitions in this area, it'd be a source of mutual fun.

OP do you ever have sex other than in bed? Ask him to decide which room and tell you when. How he want's it. On the floor or over the back of a sofa for instance.

Agree with this, some people are just not the dominant type, might be a bit uncomfortable for him 🤷🏼

I also think there is quite some difference between being dominant and just being a more active partner, which might be an easier ask ?