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DP doesn't like kissing

15 replies

thebeachisenough · 05/06/2023 20:21

I have a great relationship with my DP. Sex is really good except he really doesn't like kissing. I love a good passionate snog and find it a turn on. However he doesn't. I'm lucky if I get a peck on the lips.

I've asked him why, if I have bad breath etc etc. He denies any issue and says he just doesn't like it. I'm be never met anyone who doesn't like a kiss.

Thoughts? Anyone else feel the same or think it's unusual?

OP posts:
Mermaidparades · 05/06/2023 20:36

Oh no, that’s such a shame! I love kissing, even if it isn’t leading any further. And especially during sex. Has your DP always disliked kissing?

thebeachisenough · 05/06/2023 20:56

Yes he's never been a fan. He was married to a Thai women previously for 10y+ and said she didn't kiss?!

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Cakencookieobsessed · 05/06/2023 21:29

I don't think it's a good sign. I stopped kissing my ex when I stopped fancying him and I knew we were on out way out. We still had sex but I found little things like kissing and affection unnecessary and it was one of the first things to go. I'm sorry to be blunt. If he's never liked kissing are you sure he's sexual or is he going through the motions because he thinks he should? It's not normal.

thebeachisenough · 05/06/2023 22:28

@Cakencookieobsessed I know what you are saying and can relate to that with my ex too but my DP has never been into kissing. Even in the early days so it's not like it was there and now it's missing if that makes sense.

He used to smoke heavily so I wondered if that's it

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AverageGuy · 06/06/2023 09:15

Snogging was the first thing that went when my XW's libido started to disappear - I missed it terribly for 10 years... There’s no way I'd be in a relationship with someone that wouldn't snog now...
It's obviously important to you, so perhaps you should pursue it with him - try to get him to open up to you why he doesn't like it.

pendleflyer · 06/06/2023 09:29

don't know how old he is but is it possible he's not that practiced at it/feels self conscious in some way?
you said his long term ex didn't kiss.
Or is it possible that some woman in the past told him he was a bad kisser and he's worried/scarred by this?

Midsummernightmare · 06/06/2023 11:35

I’m in the same boat, been with OH nearly 5 hrs and he’s never liked kissing, it’s a bit of a joke between us that he kisses like a grandad! I thought at first it was just physical mechanics as he has a very small mouth and I don’t so thought we just don’t fit but I think he also just doesn’t like it. We’re mid 50’s and although he will hold hands and stroke my leg he’s not very touchy feely in a sexual way, never grabs my bum for instance. Not sure if connected but I’m pretty sure he has undiagnosed ADHD so don’t know if that’s a factor.

thebeachisenough · 06/06/2023 20:11

@pendleflyer he's mid 40s but was with his ex for 13 years so you're right I think he is out of practice!

@Mermaidparades my DP is very similar. Always reciprocated affection but doesn't initiate it. It's just who he is. I'm a very touchy person so we're both adjusting.

He's a very open person and we've discussed it a few times but he says he doesn't like it.

OP posts:
thebeachisenough · 06/06/2023 20:11

Sorry that was for @Midsummernightmare

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Zanatdy · 06/06/2023 21:35

I’d be gutted as I love kissing too. I guess not much you can do if he’s just not into it. Shame as good sex always starts with a good snog

39847584893929j · 07/06/2023 00:04

An ex partner of mine never really kissed me either. I was with him for 3 years and I recall him snogging me once for about 3 seconds. He would kiss me bye but was a very quick kiss. I worried it was me. But boyfriends I've had before him and after him all kissed and snogged me so was definitely just him.

weathervane1 · 08/06/2023 06:01

I love a good sensuous passionate snog. It gets me aroused and hard far quicker and more effectively that foreplay. Kissing can seem a lot more intimate than sex in many instances.

NameChangeNemo · 08/06/2023 18:17

I am not a fan of kissing. It does absolutely nothing for me. To the extent that I find myself wondering why does anyone want an extra tongue in their mouth? It doesn't turn me on, and doesn't feel emotionally intimate to me. It just feels weird. No idea what DH thinks but we hardly ever "snog" and have only a good night kiss on the cheek/lips lasting half a second.

We have lots of physical intimacy and enjoy sex but for me kissing has zero appeal.

Siameasy · 08/06/2023 22:03

What a shame I love a snog it’s one of the best things in life

BarrennessHarrison82 · 20/07/2023 17:18

I never kissed my ex husband because he was such a bad sloppy kisser.
I tried to teach him but no dice. even when he would peck me he'd leave slobber all over my face to the point I would tense up.
have you asked him if it is your technique? if he tenses up its not the right kissing chemistry. I think you'll have to respect he doesn't want to kiss you and just hug instead.
I used to hate kissing my ex husband out of obligation and was relieved when we split that I didn't have to.
He was Thai incidentally...

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