Husband pestering after period

[GE237]

OK, getting a bit fed up here. Not sure if I am being unreasonable but that's why I am posting.

I get fairly long periods. Usually minimal 7 days. This one has been particularly long, 11 days to be exact. My husband is a pain in the arse throughout. Constantly asking, when do you finish, it's been a long time etc. When I do eventually come to the end of one, he is literally harassing me constantly for sex. So much so, it's a put off. I've had a tampon up there for days, can he not give me a day or two to breathe!?

Basically does anyone else have a partner like this and how the hell do I tell him to calm the F down without causing a scene as my temper is getting a bit out of hand lately 😡

11 days of bleeding must leave you exhausted. Do you get tested for anaemia? Can nothing be done to shorten your period? I used to use a little sponge while having my period (I got mine from Amazon) insert it just before sex and remove after. But that was my preference, not DP.

Ideally, it sounds like you want 2 weeks without sex (11 day s plus a few extra to recuperate). Personally I would not like to have to go that long without sex, I would hope that I wouldn’t behave in an entitled manner about it though! Only you can decide what’s right for you and your body.

The pestering would really turn me off. My husband knows when I'm on my period and when sex is not on. During those days he will give me lots of physical affection like back rubs and won't try it on. Personally if we haven't had sex for a few days I like to give him a wank or a blow job so he gets a release. He could sort himself out but I like to keep up the physical contact. Of course, if you are not up for anything sexual related at all during those days then you are under no obligation to perform and he should understand that. I think all you can do is explain how you feel.

In my experience, sex pests never change. Can you put up with this harassment for the rest of your life?

I see it from his point of view, in the sense that I (female) am SO ready for sex by the time I finish my period. But we have regular sex, so a 5-7 day period without feels like forever to me! I want to jump his bones the minute I'm all clear. Also, during them 5-7 days I will have given him regular BJs as I like the physical intimacy even when Im out of action. I don't know your husband, but I imagine 11 days no sex with his wife seems like ages, so he probably thinks he's got the go ahead when it's stopped. I don't like sex pests though, so if it's constant and he's not taking the message when you tell him no...then that's a major turn off. However, I'd be wondering why after 11 days, you weren't in the mood..do you have a low sex drive the rest of the month? Xx

Gentle reminder OP - it’s not sensible to keep a tampon in “for days” due to the risk of toxic shock syndrome. On your original query, I also have fairly lengthy periods, but I still offer and enjoy alternatives to straight intercourse on some days (days and techniques chosen by me, with some variations!) that keeps me and DP happy and placid not flaccid! I’d suggest you think of an alternative about half way through your period which he (and perhaps you!) can look forward to and would ease the tension and the frequent requests!!

I'm sure OP isn't stupid and she didn't mean she'd kept the same tampon in for days on end...

Pestering for sex is a massive turn off. Also it's not up to you to keep him happy with a blow job. I'm sure he can wait until you feel like sex. His dick won't shrivel up if you don't service him for a couple of weeks.

Exact same issue here OP, I have long periods 8 days usual but the odd random one that runs into double digits. My DP is a sex pest in general but when on my period it's when will it end, has it started yet etc. Sorry no advice but just letting you know you're not alone 🙂
Also have you got any kind of diagnosis for the long periods? I've had tests but nothing conclusive, just another part of being female to hate, roll on menopause!!

We just carry on, unless really heavy.

The pestering is wrong, 11 or more days would be quite a while for my dh to go without.do you give him a blow job or anything? My periods are 3/4 days and dh usually gets a blow job over that time

These sex pest men - ick. Can you imagine following a man around going "Any chance?", "Are you up to it yet?", "When can we do it then?". It's so awful - taking advantage/borderline abuse.

Ugh he sounds vile. I’m always amazed at the complete toss pots some women put up with.

Wow

Why is this the woman's responsibility?

If it's too long for a man to go without he can have a wank.

For some women being on their period is absolutely miserable and the last thing they want to do is have a dick shoved in their mouth.

I've had three different relationships when it came to post period sex.

First, we had totally mismatched sex drives and I don't think she ultimately fancied me that much. If I didn't ask/approach, we'd probably never have sex. It felt like a guessing game and I was worried I'd come across as pestering. Withdrew and spent a decade mostly sexless. Miserable.

Second, better match, but she was very non-foreward/shy and would never initiate or send any signals. Another guessing game leading to feeling like tip toeing around to not feel like being a pest again. Withdrew again and just waited. Felt like shit, ended the relationship.

Third. Again not someone that initiates much. But great at communication and sends signals. Absolute joy to be around as don't feel like a pest being the one that initiates and can be confident in doing so. Lovely. We don't get up to much during the period, as she's uncomfortable. She has suggested that maybe we can fool around a bit, but as she doesn't initiate, it doesn't really happen, and I don't want to initiate too during period. It's nice that she thought about it, but I'm good to wait to when I'm told the time is right.

Question to OP. Do you have good communication with your sex life? Guessing games are rubbish. Especially if one person is doing all the initiation..if he's just a straight up pest though, bin him off.

@BasicDad your first 2 relationships sound so sad!! I’m glad you’ve found your person now!!

Gross, tell him he's got a hand and he needs to use it. You are not a sex doll for his pleasure. Sex pests give me the immediate ick, why would anyone think it was ok to pester someone else for sex? Coercion is abusive. And as for the women giving their men a BJ during their period 'to placate them' - grim.