Is skinny sexy?

[Poppybob]

I know that everyone finds different sizes and shapes attractive and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But as a small, not very curvy (F).... Is this sexy during sex??? I have been feeling like the most undesirable unwomanly person lately as men seem to be only interested in curves.

Don’t put yourself down about it! Whilst it’s a common tropey line to say everyone is different and people find different things attractive, it is still true. Perhaps the mainstream view is currently focused on curvier women, that doesn’t mean there aren’t a large portion of people who find skinny people attractive. I myself have a bit of a mum tum and I’m in my mid 40s so not exactly the mainstream poster girl but I don’t let it get me down because you are who you are. The person in your head that is making you doubt yourself isn’t you, it’s the ego attempting to make yourself feel bad. And if you’ve had instances where men have said that you personally aren’t attractive, then move on and ignore them, they just aren’t into you that’s all. There’s plenty of people for anyone. I’m sure you’re beautiful like everyone is. Xx

and as a woman once told me (didn't really appreciate the truth of it until later) a lot of sex is in the head.
explore your sexuality @Poppybob , walk tall.

All shapes are sexy. It’s the confidence and sensuality that does it. And different people have different ‘types’. Some like curves, some like athletic bodies. I think when a shape becomes unhealthy the associated issues need to be dealt with, as that gets in the way. But not the shape in itself.

I suppose am just self conscious that there's nothing to 'grab' onto during sex, it does get me down. And I think because I've never had a lot of interest or people generally finding me attractive (can count on X1 hand times I've ever been approached ever in my life.... Am not too young either) it's the only thing I can pinpoint.

@Poppybob Could it not be that you haven’t noticed people that might be interested in you? Also I feel these days people don’t say outright in person if they find someone attractive, it’s usually done more through the phone

I’m a size 6. Absolutely nothing to grab onto as it were. It really doesn’t matter. I am healthy and confident in my skin, and that is what is sexy. Learn to love yourself and your body. That is what men find sexy.

It's hard to love your own body when you feel like crap.. but I understand what you are saying and I agree it's probably mind over matter. It's an issue that I need to try and overcome I suppose as not a lot I can do about it. And the skinny shaming (which is totally a thing) doesn't help. But it would be nice to be seen as desirable.

Not sure what men you are meeting. People have personal preferences. I am a petite size 6 slim build and never felt that my body was unattractive to men. When I was younger, I would wear more body conscious clothes which looked 'elegant' rather than voluptuous 😂

You could say I am skinny. I wear it with pride. Gravity has been kind to me.

PS I find professional men don't really mind skinny. Generally they like slim.

Sexy is a state of mind. If someone doesn't like that then you are just not their type. Don't worry about it and move on.

blueshoes is right, skinny is indeed sexy! Every bloke will have a preference slightly, but honestly It won't be the determining factor. I know what you feel like, as a guy, I think I could be more built, and that can feed negative ideas about attractiveness. It's hard, psychologically.

Sexy is an attitude, not a body type

How do you get a sexy attitude though when you don't feel sexy? Don't want to be rude but it's a genuine question. And something something that I need to do. People seem really confident with their bodies..... How do you get so confident?

@Poppybob I am a size 18 now and have wasted years hating my figure. I have wasted time feeling jealous of thinner women. With age though came acceptance, I love that my legs allow me to walk for miles, I love that my arms give great hugs, I (try to love) my tummy that grew for my daughter. Some days I have to force myself to feel this way, most of the time I genuinely do. You are more than your body parts!

Is there a celebrity with a similar shape to you? Keira Knighly maybe? If you look at her can you accept that she is a sexy looking, sensual woman? (I did this with Lizzo and it worked for me!!) I think self love is your starting point. You’ll get there 💖

This - I'm sure that we've all been moved by someone whose absolutely 'not our type'. Cut yourself some slack OP.

I did it by hanging out in sex positive communities, both online and IRL. If you surround yourself with people who tell you how hot you are, you start to believe it!

Last month I life modelled at an alternative dating night in Brighton. Terrifying being naked in front of a room full of strangers. But people walked past me saying "You look gorgeous, darling!" which was a huge confidence boost.

I think it helps to appreciate how amazing our bodies are. Mine has produced two children. I can run and swim and dance. My body gives me pleasure. That's amazing. Why would I care whether I conform to anyone else's standards of "beauty"?

Thanks for your replies folks, a lot of interesting comments. 😁 I suppose I need to pull my breeks up and stop whining 🤣

so true about the human body - a thing of wonder - with millenia of fine tuning behind it. Have never understood religious hypochondriacs - do they have no faith in their god?