Threesome

[Mary40]

Husband wants a threesome with another man. However he has said he doesn’t want me interacting ie talking/joking with this other man.
Ive told him I can’t have sex without having feelings for someone. Thoughts ?

I'd say no.

It's surely about the fun the three of you have, so adding rules suggests that he gets what he wants and you don't. Seems unfair.

Neither practical or possible.

Sounds a very strange thing to say
It's almost as if your husband doesn't want you there

The whole Idea of a 3sum is for all involved to have fun and enjoy it

Is the plan for you to have sex with the other man, or is your husband wanting to have sex with him?

Thoughts are don't do it.

It sounds like he expects it to be purely about the fucking and physical stuff and seems to be very insecure that chatting and having a bit of jokey banter away from the bedroom may lead to you developing romantic feelings for someone else and affect your relationship with him. Which won't work for you because you can't be intimate with someone you don't have feelings for.

I would say not to go ahead with any threesome because he sounds jealous and insecure before you even start, but if you need to have feelings for a threesome partner to be able to have sex it has a lot of potential for you to be hurt because for a lot people, they join married couples purely for the sex and actively avoid encouraging feelings to be devolved so it doesn't get messy.

The fact that your husband seems to have different expectations to you is the reason to not go there. There's many people who don't want feelings involved when joining an established couple in their bed and there's plenty of people who can't just shag someone without having feelings for them and the issue is when when three people all have different expectations from the offset.

It's not going to work by the sounds of it. It sounds like it's all centred around his wants and needs and he's using you for his own pleasure with no thought about what you want. Don't do it.

No way. He basically wants you to just fuck this guy without saying a word to him. Not a chance

So hes fine with you having sex with this other man but no with you talking to this man?

Id tell him to get lost.

He says sex is just sex but he’d be jealous if I developed an emotional relationship with the other man !

As a man, and having enjoyed such scenarios many times, I have to say, and I mean no offence, your dh does sound too emotionally immature to be contemplating this.
You, however, sound pretty switched on !

None of us has done anything like this before.
I suggested someone we know but he’s against that idea.
Its almost like he has this fantasy and he expects it to go that way. I doubt he’s emotionally ready for any of this which is why I’ve decided not to go through with it.

Sounds like youve made the right decision.