Breath holding while orgasming and trauma

[psed]

Myself and DH have recently opened up our relationship into ENM and it’s working really well for both of us. We play apart, and I have found my orgasms with him and others have suddenly become really intense. To the extent of lasting a long time (minutes) and when doing so I subconsciously hold my breath and can’t make a noise. Like I’m suppressing a scream. I’ve tried to read about this online and some stuff has come up about this being a trauma response (I was raped and a teenager and violently sexually assaulted by a stranger in adulthood).

I guess what I want to know is, do I need to move beyond this and breathe through orgasms, or do I take the breath holding pleasure for what it is? Is it normal and can anyone relate or have they experienced breathe holding and moved through it?

“Raped as a teenager, and violently sexually assaulted by a stranger as an adult”.

I’m ok with this rationally, and had lots of therapy. Just wonder if subconsciously my body isn’t.

Im sorry you've been through that OP. I think there's a chance it's unrelated to your trauma. I hold my breath too in the moments leading up to orgasm, subconsciously. Everything tenses and then releases at the moment you climax and that can include your breath.

The Body Keeps The Score is a really good book that relates more broadly to long term somatic response to trauma. It helped me a lot to understand some of my body responses and behaviour as an adult in response to the same thing happening to me as a not quite teenager.