Will it ever happen?

[DontBeBitterGlitter2023]

I've had a lot of sexual partners in the past and never had an orgasm through penetrative sex - something I'm ok with as I do understand it's fairly difficult for a lot of people

It took quite a while for me have an orgasm through oral sex but now I know what works it does happen every time. Toys I have no problem with and it usually happens quickly. But I cannot orgasm via manual stimulation either - even with the same motions, pressure, etc as a tongue. I feel like something is wrong with me! It feels great obviously but I just can't ever 'get there'

I haven't slept with hundreds of women, but I do know that they were all different in the stimulation they needed to achieve orgasm. I can definitely say that there is no such thing as 'normal'. A woman who can orgasm through penetrative sex alone is rare, in my experience.

If I were you, I'd focus on enjoying the orgasms I can and do have , rather than the unobtainable ones that you think you 'should' be having.

Best wishes.

When you’re referring to manual stimulation, would this be focused on your clitoris? I tend to find fingers become ‘too much’ there and are better suited to massaging my G spot after their initial warm up routine! Have you tried withdrawing the hood? That may give you the desired effect.
Of course, nothing is as elusive as a slightly out of reach orgasm, so I would agree with @xpc316e and sink into the sensations you can enjoy, take the focus off the manual and by reducing the pressure on yourself it might just happen anyway.

OP, worry less about which road leads to Wonderland, the important thing is that you get there.

You say "But I cannot orgasm via manual stimulation either", does this include when you go for it yourself? If it's partner sex only you are referring to then it's a case of showing them exactly what you need.

Thank you @xpc316e

@Mermaidparades I've tried it pretty much all ways round to be honest! Some partners have been better than others but I'm also not shy in letting them know what is good... I think with the current one it's the fact he wants to make it happen and it doesn't!

@StarlightLady to be honest I've probably become over reliant on toys so I don't bother with anything else.... maybe I'll give that a try!

OP, although some on MN will not agree, I think you can enjoy toys but I don't think you can become over reliant on them. They are there for the liking. I do think that we are responsible for our own orgasms though and until we fully understand and respond to our own bodies signals, I don't think we can expect others to do so.

Sounds weird, but I'm protective of my clit, I don't like anyone touching me there other than myself, unless I can have some control. I can cum from my G spot now, either through penetrative sex or my husband fingering me but that's not something I've always been able do. It's been hit and miss in the past and only since I met him do I orgasm most times through sex.

@MaryJean87 it absolutely is not weird. You call the shots for your pleasure.

Thanks, I think it's a subconscious thing. I find clit stimulation very overwhelming unless I'm masturbating and I always have to move his hand away. I can cope if I have my hand over his sometimes and I may inadvertently have a clit orgasm through intercourse if the position is right, but I hate anyone having dominance over my most sensitive part.