No sex drive. Help!

[gyi3]

No sex drive. No sex life. Haven't had sex in 6 months.
Married with 1 DC.
DH is frustrated and I feel so bad.
Should I fake it?

@gyi3 personally, as a man, I wouldn't want you to fake it.

I can completely identify with your DH (been there, done that, got the T shirt..). It's really good that you have recognised it, and are concerned by it.

You don't say how old you are, but I believe a lack of libido can be linked to the menopause.

Alternatively, if your DC is very young (under @18 months), then it could just be your body telling you you aren't ready to concieve another child yet (even if you weren't planning to!) or you may just be worn out from the demands of being a mum.

You could consider consulting your GP (if you can get an appointment!).

Whatever you decide to do, I'd definitely sit down with your DH and talk to him, if you haven't already.

This sort of issue can soon turn a relationship toxic, so the sooner you can assure him that it's not him, that you still love him, (huge assumptions here on my part), and that it's something you are working on, he (hopefully) should be receptive, and understanding.

I'm loath to suggest this, as I'll probably be flamed to hell and back, but you could consider occasionally offering him a helping hand, as it were... It would show him that you still want to be intimate with him, despite you not feeling it..

You may also find that it starts turning you on!

Good luck, it's a horrible position to be in.

Don’t fake it, you need to get to the source of the issue not plaster over the cracks. What has happened in your life that has killed your libido? A number of things can cause this, from side effects from certain medications, tiredness, difficulties in your relationship etc.
Work from there, try not to feel bad - you are addressing the issue now and are working towards a solution. Involve your DH in the process, tell him what is going on with you.

I would agree with @AverageGuy , a handjob is going to give your DH some satisfaction yet it isn’t going to be terribly emotionally taxing for you. I was in your situation a number of years ago and tbh I think this compromise could have been a good way to maintain a little intimacy when I really wasn’t feeling it. We had a long road back to a full sexual relationship because I had completely shut down and shut DP out.

Work, kids life...it really can go out the window for both sexes.

So IMO if you are up for it give him a hand, if you aren't be there while he gives himself one, you never know that might spark things for you a bit depending on your flavour.

Also what's the division of family household chores etc like? Can he do more to help to give you time to find you and hopefully your groove too?

Is the anything you can do to help you find your mojo again? Toys, lingerie, bit of visual, written, auditory encouragement for you? A number of the posters here swear by erotic fiction, audio as well as the easily accessible visual (choose wisely clearly).

Be honest, talk it through with you DP, no knowing where you are at may make him feel like he's pretty alone and communication is always good.

Esther Perel and David Snarch are authors with some really good insights that can help you both.

What I would say is don't force yourself into anything it may be whilst you are looking for your mojo that you mislaid he might need to look after himself for a while, but with talking and keeping talking he won't get lost down any weird rabbit holes...that's where a bit of sharing as at the top of my post could assist you both.

Good luck and report back!