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Original poster

HPV

32 replies

NCshy · 10/05/2023 17:30

5 yrs ago, I had a couple of genital warts "frozen" off and cream for the few tiny one's remaining. Nothing since (or before actually)

I'm in a new relationship with a lovely lady, and after many years without intimacy, we suddenly find ourselves having met someone with whom we both want to go there.

I've been honest about my HPV episode, but I think it's spooked her...she's messaging (100 miles distance between us) but she's definitely not sure where to go with this info.

Is there a way of reassuring her?
Factual hasn't really helped (nhs site) I'm talking emotional support I guess....
I'm late 50's and she's early 60's.

OP posts:
BIWI · 10/05/2023 17:36

I'd run a mile too, if I knew a prospective new partner had a sexually transmitted/transmittable disease.

Original poster
NCshy · 10/05/2023 19:37

Gosh....
I always knew it was very cold on the moral high ground, but my goodness....

Consider for a moment perhaps, that even us, with an sti, may be the victim of another's irresponsibility, and we'd just like to protect those we love.

OP posts:
Whatliesbeneath707 · 10/05/2023 19:46

Hi @NCshy follow The Love Drive, Shannon Galanos on Instagram.

He has HPV and regularly talks about how to tell a new partner. He might be able to reassure you. I don't think he goes short of partners.

Original poster
NCshy · 10/05/2023 19:48

Whatliesbeneath707 · 10/05/2023 19:46

Hi @NCshy follow The Love Drive, Shannon Galanos on Instagram.

He has HPV and regularly talks about how to tell a new partner. He might be able to reassure you. I don't think he goes short of partners.

Oh, thank you. Will do.

OP posts:
akiwi · 10/05/2023 20:01

FFS , 1 in 4 adults are positive for HVP and almost all sexually actually people have it at some point. @BIWI is speaking from ignorance.
Well done being responsible about your health and your partner's
Speak to your doctor about your chances of passing it and now dangerous it could be and tell your gf about it.
"Two types of HPV (types 6 and 11) cause most cases of genital warts. Warts are no fun, but they’re considered low-risk HPV because they don’t lead to cancer or other serious health problems."
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/stds-hiv-safer-sex/hpv

What Is HPV & How Do You Get It?

HPV stands for human papillomavirus & is a common STD. HPV is usually harmless and goes away by itself, but some types can lead to cancer or genital warts.

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/stds-hiv-safer-sex/hpv

Whatliesbeneath707 · 10/05/2023 20:05

I also think one of the regular chaps on here used to work with the charity that deals with HPV. He might come along and have something to add too.

Original poster
NCshy · 10/05/2023 20:05

Thank you @akiwi, & yes I've told her.

OP posts:
Chellybelle · 10/05/2023 20:59

Most sexually active people get it at some point. It can be passed on even with a condom so I don't understand the judgement. It doesn't mean you were careless. I had it years ago and shortly after tested negative for it. I've never had it since. I may be mistaken but I think it can only be passed on during an active episode and I never had that.

BIWI · 10/05/2023 21:08

NCshy · 10/05/2023 19:37

Gosh....
I always knew it was very cold on the moral high ground, but my goodness....

Consider for a moment perhaps, that even us, with an sti, may be the victim of another's irresponsibility, and we'd just like to protect those we love.

Not the moral high ground. When thinking about your OP, I tried to put myself in the position of your friend, and so googled to find out more, and got this page

And reading that, it made me conclude that if it was me talking with you and hearing about the HPV, which was how I was framing my response, then this would be how I felt and how I would likely react.

Good on you @NCshy for being honest with her, but that's still how I would feel. I was, actually, trying to give you some insight into how she might be feeling/reacting. Not trying to judge you.

I have never had a STI, and wouldn't want to risk catching one. Obviously other people have different views.

Genital herpes | Office on Women's Health

https://www.womenshealth.gov/a-z-topics/genital-herpes#:~:text=But%20the%20viruses%20that%20cause,virus%20that%20causes%20genital%20warts.

Mermaidparades · 10/05/2023 22:59

@NCshy I’m sorry you’ve found yourself in this situation, but your attitude is to be commended. I’m sure once the initial shock wears off, your partner will be able to process the facts and figures and move forward. Just keep on doing what you’re already doing…speak with her honestly, give her some time, encourage her to do her own research. I wish you well 💗

PinotPony · 10/05/2023 23:39

The fact that you don't know the difference between HPV and herpes only confirms your ignorance, @BIWI

I'd suggest you educate yourself beyond the first Google result before you pass judgment on others.

BIWI · 11/05/2023 03:40

PinotPony · 10/05/2023 23:39

The fact that you don't know the difference between HPV and herpes only confirms your ignorance, @BIWI

I'd suggest you educate yourself beyond the first Google result before you pass judgment on others.

I googled to check the difference. Because I know they are different. What I wanted to check is whether they are both STI. And the link I posted shows that they are.

Original poster
NCshy · 11/05/2023 07:28

Thankfully, I've had a long reassuring reply.
So, she's previously had a biopsy for pre cancerous cells which could have been HPV, like she says, who knows 🤷‍♂️.
I think the hesitancy is the word "cancer" since it's affected both our histories significantly.

Can I thank you all for your (mostly) words of reassurance....I think we've fallen for each other.

OP posts:
BIWI · 11/05/2023 09:22

I'm glad you've resolved things.

To be clear, there was no judgement from me, although evidently it's been inferred Hmm. I was trying - as I said - to give you some insight from another person's perspective as to what her possible reaction might have been to your news. I would have posted exactly the same if you'd said it was Covid or chicken pox or flu.

NCSexForum · 11/05/2023 09:26

I think it’s entirely up to the person whether they choose to have a sexual relationship if they’re fully aware of the facts and information behind it. It seems there’s a lot of information out there. One of the mentioned risks was cervical cancer.

akiwi · 11/05/2023 12:05

@BIWI if you ever had sex you might have a STD and you just don't know. Most people that have genital herpes for example don't know they have it. And you probably at some point had HPV or you still have it.

BIWI · 11/05/2023 12:21

Actually I know I don't, because recent blood tests (for something else!) showed I don't.

yorkshireteabagman · 11/05/2023 14:12

well done OP and good luck. I had been with DW for 10 years when we were expecting child no.1 and I then found out she had genital herpes as it showed a few weeks before giving birth, from memory I don't believe she knew either but she was able to trace it back to the first boyfriend who had a cold sore. 10 years on it doesn't seem to have re-appeared either. I've never dwelled on it, but the whole incident still feels odd to this day, how nobody could have known and how I've never caught it in 20yrs. I have no reason to believe anything happened which it shouldn't but every now and then I get a reminder like this post, which makes me question things! We don't talk about it and I'm not aware she takes anything for it

Mermaidparades · 11/05/2023 14:23

@NCshy that’s completely understandable, but I’m delighted you can both navigate through this situation together. You sound smitten! Love that 💗

akiwi · 11/05/2023 14:26

@BIWI , neither herpes or HPV are detected by blood tests.
@yorkshireteabagman Many people have STDs they are not aware of. It's just a part of having a sexual life.

BIWI · 11/05/2023 18:38

Yes you're quite right @akiwi - my bad. Mixing it up with a whole raft of other tests I had to have at the same time.

Gwenhwyfar · 14/05/2023 12:27

BIWI · 11/05/2023 18:38

Yes you're quite right @akiwi - my bad. Mixing it up with a whole raft of other tests I had to have at the same time.

As far as I know, a negative test for HPV could just mean it's dormant so there is no way for you to know for sure that you don't have it.

TheWhalrus · 14/05/2023 12:40

You can get vaccinated for this, you know?

powerrangers · 19/05/2023 21:01

@BIWI every post of yours just screams further ignorance. You would more than likely have been in contact with HPV if you have ever been sexually active. It lies dormant. It doesn't show up in a blood test. Why are you posting about herpes?

BIWI · 19/05/2023 21:14

I'm not.

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