Would a threesome ruin a marriage

[woodswoodswoods]

Would it? We have been married for 11 years. It's not dh asking it's me, f, wondering. We have toys that dh can use so it's like we are having a threesome bit obvs it's not real. I get so turned on watching him have sex with them, and enjoy getting involved while he does. Not sure how much I can say on here. Has anyone done it, what was the out come?

I’ve been wondering the same recently (late 30s, female). My confidence in myself and sex drive have recently gone through the roof and I feel really open to trying sex with another person (M or F). I feel suddenly very relaxed and it’s like I’ve had this epiphany that I don’t want to get old and not have tried certain things.

I do worry if I might feel jealous, and that it’s a slippery slope to an open marriage as we always want more…

Sounds Ideal in theory, but what happens if you get jealous and insecure of your husband with I presume the other guy?

What happens if dh catches feelings for the other guy?

If you can't answer these questions don't do it imho

Thanks for the replies, I wouldn't mind if it was with a male or female. I don't no how I would feel until I saw it happen I guess. We watch porn together and I love seeing him get hard over it but obviously that isn't the same thing

A lot of guys who try dick don't go back. Just be careful. You'll need sti tests as well.

About 20 years ago I was involved in a long-term, MMF threesome with a married couple. It was a success and they'd had many threesomes before. Their marriage was very secure and I have since seen them on a couple of occasions as a friend when in the area. They are lovely people for whom I have a lot of respect.

Some marriages fail after threesomes, some flourish. Plenty of marriages fail without any mention of threesomes. There may be pitfalls, but with the correct communication they can be planned for.

A bloke liking something up his arse does not mean he is into men

I'd recommend giving Open House - The Great Sex Experiment a watch on Channel 4. It's interesting actually. Most of the women go into it thinking they'll feel jealous when they see their male partner with someone else and all the men think it'll be such a hot experience. Then when it comes down to it, the girls really enjoy it and a lot of the men end up worried/jealous.

It's something I've wondered recently too though. I'm currently pregnant so not something we'd be trying for a while! But my partner and I have discussed it. He's happy for me to go off and have sex with other men if I want to and I also suggested a MFF threesome to him. Which he was shocked about because I'm naturally quite a jealous person, but I think it'd be such a good experience. It's something I'm sure we'll explore in the future

@gemsgv agreed a mmf thresesome is way way different from just "something up his arse". That's definitely we are not in Kansas anymore Dorothy, sexuality-wise. The question is what you might then think about that, @woodswoodswoods .

It's not just the sex acts. What if your husband really enjoys say kissing other guys and gets really affectionate and loved up? There's a whole bunch of ground rules to negotiate beforehand if you do something like this, it needs thinking about and proper preparation on multiple levels.

Thanks for the replies, I will give that tv show ago.
My dh isn't gay, and he likes toys up his ass/ being pegged. I don't think he would want to kiss another male. Will have to ask him.

Many things can ruin a marriage. But I don’t think any particular joint sexual experience that you discuss and agree to - has that power.

You are right - you won’t know how you feel until you try.
These day and age - there is so many options to fit any preference you have.
As well as lots of paces to to and experience - or even look around.

I’d say - first step is talking to him about it - he may like pegging but not want to have a man doing it to him. He may or may not want to have another woman there. Or maybe both of you may want to try swinging.

Good luck. It could be a lot of fun.

M here.

Actually the opposite can happen - I was about to break up with a GF when we found an anonymous M on hols for an MFM. The excitement probably kept us together for another year - when actually we needed to move on from each other.

I male have had threesomes with lots of couples. Some are really rock solid in their relationships. Some are not on the same page. When it works well it can be a great experience for all.