Husband called me a sex pest

[MyGhastIsFlabbered]

Both of us have been ill with colds/flu recently. The other evening DH suggested that he was well enough to 'be intimate' the following morning.
Morning comes and he's in a bad mood stropping around, then went for a run.

I felt a bit rejected but when I tried to explain this to him later on in the day he told me that he wasn't well enough for sex. I said that in my head, rightly or wrongly, if he was well enough to go for a run he was well enough for sex. He then said that he 'didn't realise he had to have sex on demand', that if I were a man I'd be in real trouble for pestering him for sex when he didn't want it and that in future he'd 'do as he was told'.

I'm completely broken. I've never pressured him into sex, and I wasn't trying to yesterday...I was just trying to explain why I felt sad/rejected NOT complaining. If he'd just said 'sorry, I don't feel well enough' that would have been fine, but he just acted like he'd never suggested sex in the first place.

Now I feel like I can't ever initiate things again and at the moment I'm really hurt and scared to even touch him.

Am I a sex pest?

No, you aren’t a sex pest. Maybe your DH genuinely forgot his plans to ‘get intimate’. Maybe he thought he had more energy than he actually did, went for a run then came home exhausted, and is trying to deflect. Maybe he’s playing some sort of mind game!! But from what you’ve said, it doesn’t sound like you’re the one at fault. You deserve an apology for being hurt and a promise that this behaviour won’t happen again. Explain to him that you feel scared to touch him now.

As a man, I can see he's been at the very least, an insensitive prat.
(reasons unknown from info given)

If I was him, "I'd need telling how much you loved me, wanted me and maybe you read the moment wrong, but remind me that I hurt you, and it's frightened you....we've always been so open in our intentions with each other."

Is there something troubling him....?

🤞 he feels your pain, and apologises.

Choose your moment for this chat carefully.....because "making up" can be the very intimate moment you wanted to share in the first place.

(Sorry about 1st person...hope it worked)

I don't think you are a sex pest but then I don't think most of the men called 'sex pests' on MM are either.
I think we have needs and sex/intimacy is diverging that taps into diverging deep. Feelings of rejection are real and the sex equivalent of feeling 'hangry' are real. Sadly MN posters like to call any emotional outburst or even emotional tension 'abuse'.

You’re not a sex pest at all. I also don’t understand why you’re “broken”. FWIW with the running thing if I’ve got a cold I’d much go for a run than have sex.

You are not a sex pest but nor do I understand why you are broken?

Do you often schedule sex in advance?

Whether people want to have sex at a particular time depends on numerous factors. If I had a pound for every time I thought I would be horny later that day when OH got home but then wasn't I would be wealthy. I wouldn't think this was a big deal unless it happened over and over.