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age gap and sex drive what would you do?

6 replies

beligian · 02/05/2023 18:53

DP is 60 this year and I am 45. We are both after divorces. He has children, I don't. We have not had sex for 2+years. I feel very sad about it and low about everything, myself and life. I receive compliments from other men (my age), DP's friends always say how lucky he is to have such gorgeous looking girlfriend but I feel awful. I do look after myself and keep myself in good shape and look after myself but so what. He just is not interested sexually in me (or in any way other than what is for dinner). I feel I downgraded to a housekeeper and future free carer. I cry every day before bed wondering if this is it, will I never have sex again? I used to be sexually active, enjoyed it and have great memories of sensual nights and days. Holidays, all the dressing up, lingerie, being fun and playful. Now we sleep in separate bedrooms. He snores, doesn't want to do anything about it. Complains about literally everything and everyone and I as a receiver just wonder is that it?
I fantasies about meeting a new man, about love, about passion, about dates and looking forward to time together. I miss life. I spoke to him about the problem, he just finds excuses that it is work, I suggested therapy I am being ridiculous as he doesn't need therapy he just wants a bigger house. At 60?! What for? And who is going to clean this house? It seems to me he is controlling me by withdrawing sex. Perhaps I am wrong. I am so lost.
What would you ladies do?

OP posts:
Runaround50 · 02/05/2023 20:15

In a nutshell OP, he is using you.
Leave him asap. You are young and by the sounds of it, attractive in your looks and personality.

Why did you get together initially?

Seriously, get rid of him. He sounds awful and controlling. You can't live like that realistically.

Find the strength to start again without him

Xxxx

Hensintheskirting · 02/05/2023 20:34

You have asked what we would do - well, I would leave him OP.

Read back your post and imagine that a friend of yours was describing her relationship. How would you advise her?

Wherearemymarbles · 02/05/2023 22:02

Leave. It will only get worse as he gets older. Imagine him at 70 and you at 55!!!
At 45 you have so much choice and no children to worry about
set your self free!

Oldtadger · 03/05/2023 04:49

Get out asap. You'll end up being his carer which would fine if you had a long and loving relationship but you haven't had that.

Zanatdy · 03/05/2023 05:39

I’d leave. You’re still young and you clearly don’t want to live a celibate life.

AubadeIsIt · 04/05/2023 20:31

Run. You deserve so much more

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