Dp has had a fairly low sex drive for the past year as his new job is physically demanding. He leaves the house at 7am and doesn’t get home until 7pm. We get around an hour of time together after tea, watching tv or chatting. I then sort out the kids and school things for the next day while he relaxes. He’s ready for bed by 10pm, understandably. By the time I have sorted out the dogs and tidied up etc, it’s almost 11pm and he’s snoring. I rarely see him in the mornings before he leaves as I’m tending to the children and pets.
The only time we get together is at weekends if we haven’t got prior plans such as family visits or days out booked. As he’s tired from the working week he doesn’t want to do much and the most we manage is a walk at the park or out for lunch/tea. This has been on repeat for a year.
I am really struggling with the lack of alone time and the fact we haven’t been on a date for so long, but most of all the sex.
He is just too tired and it’s not possible to fit it in at any point during the week. On the occasional weekends we get a moment it’s very disappointing or he clearly has no interest and would rather sleep. I made it clear a healthy sex life is important to me and that we need to prioritise it. He promises we will, even to the point of planning to go to bed early. Well I follow him upstairs, have a pee etc and he’s snoring by the time I’m in the bedroom.
I sympathise that his job is making him this tired and I can’t ask him to find a new job or find the energy for sex so I’m at a loss what to do. It’s beginning to affect us and I’m starting to resent him for forgetting we’re a couple with needs. I’ve recently began thinking about leaving him. I know it’s wrong because he’s providing for our family, but at the expense of overall happiness and he doesn’t care how it’s making me feel.
Im not sure what more I can do, I feel like a sex pest for begging him, particularly when he turns me down. We’ve managed sex once in 2 months and I didn’t enjoy it because I knew he done it to shut me up.
fwiw to add I also work and feel tired too but I would always make time for intimacy as it’s so important to a relationship.
Can anyone relate?