Repulsed by partner kissing me... (the ick)

[doodlewargan]

I feel really awful for feeling this way and this will sound mean. But I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years last night he wanted to have sex and I went through with it because I felt bad because it's been a long time. But when he was kissing me I've never felt my skin crawl so much I was genuinely repulsed by it and I felt like it was absolute torture to points where I had to turn away because my body was cringing thinking of it now makes my body cringe still. Each kiss was just like a nail on a chalk board and I couldn't wait for him to stop, on the inside it was really triggered some kind of anger. He couldn't see me cause the lights were off cause we were in bed but I've never felt like this with him before ever. And now I'm hoping he doesn't come onto me incase I feel like that again next time. I know this sounds absolutely awful but has anyone ever had this start happening to them? And if so did it pass? Maybe I'm not attracted to my partner anymore ? 😩

It happened with my ex. I realised though we were still having sex, I was bypassing the kissing and physical affection. I was never attracted to him that much in the first place, we were mates that led to more but he ended up treating me quite badly which only made me even less attracted to him. There was nothing good about the relationship and I had mentally checked out. I ended up cheating on him with another ex. We ended after that and I'm now married to someone else. Unfortunately I don't think there's a way past it. Maybe if you could identify possible reasons why you're feeling this way, or perhaps have space from him for a while, and see if you miss him.

Exactly the same as @MaryJean87 .. I was never really physically attracted to him (my ex) in the first place but it was made worse over the years.. yuck!

7 year itch maybe?

I felt like this with exdh - I craved affection but not from him.......I think as I'd lost any respect or love for him I couldn't stand him touching me

You need to leave. I’d hate if my partner felt repulsed by kissing me that much as you describe. Surely that signifies the end of your relationship or are you hoping he will be happy in a sex less / kiss less relationship?

Hi

I think you need help from a professional, if its something you want to overcome, if not then it sounds like the relationship needs to end.

One question springs to mind and for those who have replied, i'm genuinely interested. How or why did you start a relationship with someone who you weren't physically attracted to? I'm not judging, just interested.

How were you able to have sex previously, kiss previously, without some form of physical attraction?

I was physically attracted to me ex a first but as time went on his behaviour and attitudes made him repulsive

@bted Good ole grooming and domestic abuse, I was told he would commit suicide if I ever left him, I was 16 years old and he was 23, you soon learn to lie back and think of England as they say, i didn’t have much choice I’m afraid.

@choochoo that's absolutely horrific, I'm really sorry to hear that. I hope you're in a better place now.

With me, I was a single mum and spending a lot of time on my own. I had my pick of the men to be honest, but they only ever wanted sex at that point of my life. He had a kid too and we gradually spent more and more time together and fell into a relationship. I grew to like him for a bit and I found him cute but it very rapidly diminished. This sounds big headed but I'll be honest here, I was a lot more physically attractive than him. So he liked my looks and I liked the attentiveness he initially paid to me and my son and we fell into that comfortable scenario.

@maryjane87 thanks, thats really honest and intersting, and not big headed, just honest.

Sex with my exh was like that. My ex was an abusive narcissistic prick, so I never wanted him to touch me anyway but he also really let himself go, never cleaned his teeth, put on loads of weight, always smelt but he had made me feel worthless.

The thought I ever let him near me gives me the ick now. Strangely enough the last two guys I had sex with it was nothing like that. In fact it was really quite enjoyable.