Off-putting?

[Elvishaslefthebuilding]

My partner and I don't live together, and I mentioned to her recently that I'd done some washing for her. When leaving her place I'd scooped up some dirty clothes of mine to take home and some of her clothes had gone through my wash as well.
Her clothes included knickers.
She joked that she'd ended a relationship with a man because on one occasion she'd been at his place and found he'd been taking her knickers and wanking into them. Until then she though they had a normal relationship.
It's not isn't the sort of thing that would interest me, but would it be off-putting for most women?
Is it like wanking to porn? Or is it more of a fetish than a kink? I think they had ordinary sex together.

it honestly wouldn’t bother me at all. As long as they were washed and returned to me again!

That's grim. It would be the going behind my back to do it I'd find creepy.

I don’t like the idea at all and it would put me off.

I’d be highly suspicious of anyone who did this on purpose or claimed it was accidental.

I’d think they were a dirty, perverted, creepy bastard, to take them without checking and probably the type who would post about it on the internet to other blokes, to get off on it. I’d also think they hadn’t had many relationships and we’re usually in their dark basement wanking to weird shit and didn’t get out often.

So yes, to answer your question, very off putting and I’d end the relationship. I know someone who did end a relationship for exactly this reason. She also found it creepy and thought he was a sad bastard.

That wouldn't bother me at all tbh

It wouldn't bother me but then I think it depends how she found out? Like was she at his place and found her underwear having no clue he had them then yeah thats a bit creepy!

My thoughts exactly. And any woman that excuses that type of behaviour, raise your standards. A man can be sexy and horny without being a dirty perv.

I think it’s fine to hold a different viewpoint without having low standards! I find it weird that it’s more acceptable in our society for someone to masturbate to images of unknown, possibly vulnerable women in porn than it is to fantasise with their lover’s underwear. And because of our strange ‘rules’ people are afraid to be honest and open with their partners, hence not asking for permission.

I recently dated someone with a knicker fetish. On our first date, I willingly gave him the underwear I'd been wearing to take home.

Admittedly I did insist that he wash them fairly promptly once he'd finished with them. They were expensive Honey Birdette and I was more worried about them getting ruined than him having a wank into them. They were returned to me in perfect condition at our next date.

People have different kinks. It's a bit much to call them dirty pervs just because their proclivities are not to your taste.

That is true, although it wouldn’t be for me but I full understand everyone is different and likes and accepts different things.

It’s the sneakiness, which is the issue. If there was a conversation, and she had decided that was fine, that woyld be fine. But he shouldn’t of done something like that behind someone’s back!

Yes, it's the doing it without asking first that makes it creepy. Pinot's story is very different and I'd be fine with that.

I'd be ok with it if he asked first, would probably turn me on to be honest. Very disrespectful for him to just take them without asking. I'd want to make sure he wasn't intending to wear them though, I don't want to be in a relationship with an autogynophile! 🤮

Whoosh!

It’s NOT a bit much to say that I think someone who does this, WITHOUT CONSENT, is a dirty perv.

Do not dare tell me that I can’t think of men that do this a dirty, pervy bastards. My boundaries are my own, consent is very important to me.

@TheMiddleOfTheMiddle I agree with you entirely. Any guy who did it without consent should be hung, drawn and quartered in my opinion.

I'd read the OP as asking about the kink in general and was responding on that basis alone.

No.

You said

It's a bit much to call them dirty pervs just because their proclivities are not to your taste.

That was clearly aimed at me as those were my words. I was very clear that the reason they are dirty pervs is because of the lack of consent.

Now you’re trying to get out of that. So again, don’t tell others what they call men who do this without their partners consent.

There's a lot of shaming of women with boundaries these days.

@AbsolutePixels no one should be shamed for their boundaries, it’s not acceptable. Everyone brings their own set of life experiences to a discussion like this, as they have helped to form their boundaries. One person’s experiences may lead them to adopt the philosophy of ‘don’t sweat the small stuff’ while the other person may feel irate at the same situation.

I read the OP to be about taking underwear to wank into without the knowledge of his partner, who was upset enough to dump for it. So in that context, yes, I'd have a very big problem with it, just because I'm in a relationship with someone does not give him automatic consent to take my clean/dirty underwear to use as a wank into. The posters who have used the words creepy and pervert were clearly referring to the lack of consent and the example in the op. It's not a bit much to call men who don't seek consent, creepy perverts.

It's also ok to not be ok with it even if asked. If a man (or woman I guess) isn't comfortable with asking their partner if they can wank into their knickers because he is worried he will be kink shamed then he knows full well there's a strong chance of being told no and if he goes ahead and does it anyway then he's a creep. The wanking to possible vulnerable women in porn isn't more acceptable to me, I find it weird so many people seem ok with that too but I get called a prude for that opinion.

My old close friend had a partner years ago who she learnt was stealing her dirty underwear and sharing photos online with other men after he'd wanked into them. Not long after she moved in with him and they were splitting chores with him doing laundry, some of her underwear started going missing after going in the laundry and she joked with me that she thought a pervert neighbour was taking them off the line. Nope turned out it was her pervert partner who as well as posting photos online would steal her dirty underwear to swap with the dirty underwear of other men's partners. She found out when she was looking for her phone charger and found a jiffy envelope with some other woman's photo and dirty knickers in which led her to check his browser history and messages where she saw what he'd been doing.

Apparently it was why his two previous relationships ended too. He left that bit out when they met though. My friend was very open minded and would have been ok with him using her knickers, she's consented to his other kinks, it was that he didn't ask permission and he knew how important consent was to her due to her past, when asked why he never asked her if it was ok, he said the thrill came from knowing her and the women not knowing and that was a big red flag for her and she ditched him.

It's very different to someone consenting or willingly handing over their knickers to someone to wank in.

Taking them without asking. That’s fucking disgusting. I think the OP was looking for a bit of material from posters here to get off to, hoping they’d share stories. It’s a shame the sex topic is being used in this way.

Taking other people's things and using them without their permission is never ok!

It doesn't really matter that it's using them sexually in this particular instance same rule applies 🙂