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Original poster

Plan the final night together?

24 replies

OfcourseitsaNC · 14/04/2023 19:00

A long conversation today shows that things between DP & I are coming to a natural end after two years together. We'll go NC when we split. I'll find it too hard if we don't.

We've got tickets booked for a band we both love in a fortnight. We've left it that we'll work through all that was said today to see if we both still feel the same. We'll then meet up for the band, have a great last night together with the music, getting plastered and having sex for the final time. Then go our separate ways.

Great idea or not?

Putting it on the sex board, as I feel you're my kind of people. We all really enjoy sex. But do you think I'd get the same advice you're all giving if I posted on the relationship board?

OP posts:
MyBelladonna · 14/04/2023 19:10

I’m sorry you’re going through this, but it sounds to me like a beautiful way to end things. I’m sure there will be tears as well as orgasms. 💗

Surplus2requirements · 14/04/2023 19:16

Personally I wouldn't want to have sex if we'd concluded we would seperate and go no contact.

It would feel a little fraudulent or something.

That's just me though I wouldn't judge anyone else

HornyBee · 14/04/2023 19:40

I'd say it probably depends on the reasons for the split. It sounds like it's all on good terms so I can't see any harm in one last 🎆🎇 !!

NCSexForum · 14/04/2023 19:43

I don’t think it’s a good idea, when I separated from my ex, he asked if we could still have casual sex, I said it would be unwise and we went our separate ways, it was definitely the right decision.

samantha0709 · 14/04/2023 20:18

That's a tricky one.
I've thought about your question for a few minutes and still can't come up with an answer.

Why are you separating?

Are you really both leaving the relationship on the same page? Usually one party is less ok about the break up than the other - is that the case here?

MaryJean87 · 14/04/2023 20:31

I don't think there's any point if you've decided its over. May as well leave things now as it only prolongs the agony. I wouldn't even go to the concert. I find the whole idea of planning a split weird. If you've decided you don't want to be together anymore, then it's already over.

Original poster
OfcourseitsaNC · 14/04/2023 20:38

We're splitting because the way he's handling a sensitive situation is, to me, in contrast to the person I know. It's making me reflect.

For him, he's recognised the 90min drive between our homes is now beginning to cause him a problem as he's missing the "I just fancy seeing you for an evening after work"

I can see possible solutions if we want to by changing a few things. He isn't sure if it's worth trying them out as they may not work. Which is reflective of us as a couple... I'm a "let's see what happens if..." person, he's a "there's no point trying that as it's unlikely to succeed..." person.

Planning a final night together won't be a route to casual sex only. I'm not that person. I just like the idea of a lovely goodbye together. And I'm sure there will be more tears like there were from both of us today.

OP posts:
NCSexForum · 14/04/2023 21:43

I wouldn’t, it’s just prolonging the break-up. I’ve never known anyone to plan a break up by spending one last day together and having sex, it will likely mess with emotions and make you feel worse.

Sophie1980 · 14/04/2023 22:07

We have just ended our arrangement. (for clarity, two women). I was wanting to 'come out'. She not willing.
We slept together last weekend. A few Texts about the journey back and work.
Nothing since Wednesday.
The idea of making the split an event is, to me, weird. Sorry OP. Weird.

Runaround50 · 14/04/2023 22:21

No, a planned night of events, before a split isn't something I could do I'm afraid.

You have both made your decision to part. Don't prolong the agony.

Remember the happy days and start to carve out a new chapter in your life 🌷

MaxTalk · 15/04/2023 00:12

Sounds like a daft idea to me. Just end it and walk away now.

TimeTravelling · 15/04/2023 01:07

What on Earth? Sounds like some made up shit from a crap romance film.

Great idea or not?

Not.

Anxiodogo · 15/04/2023 02:59

I've had breakup sex once. He was leaving me (I cheated) and I was crying. So he fucked me. Afterwards he said it was to make the pain go away - for both of us.
Of course, it wasn't the last time. But we did break up eventually - attempts at reconciliation and sex were never the same.
I think planning it is a bit strange. Possibly @NCSexForum has it?

Zanatdy · 15/04/2023 07:15

Why not. The last time I saw the guy I was seeing recently we had an epic sex session. It wasn’t planned (at least on my part) as being the last time but if we don’t see each other again it’s a nice memory to take forward. Some people will probably tell you it’s a bad idea but I’d just do it.

TitInATrance · 15/04/2023 09:12

It sounds great to me. I’d always prefer to know when it’s the last time, and leave on a high.

StarlightLady · 15/04/2023 09:47

I would only do this if one of us was moving away for other reasons, not in these circumstances. The passion would not be there in my view. Sex, whether a one off with someone or with a longer term partner needs passion.

Wishona · 15/04/2023 10:18

OfcourseitsaNC · 14/04/2023 20:38

We're splitting because the way he's handling a sensitive situation is, to me, in contrast to the person I know. It's making me reflect.

For him, he's recognised the 90min drive between our homes is now beginning to cause him a problem as he's missing the "I just fancy seeing you for an evening after work"

I can see possible solutions if we want to by changing a few things. He isn't sure if it's worth trying them out as they may not work. Which is reflective of us as a couple... I'm a "let's see what happens if..." person, he's a "there's no point trying that as it's unlikely to succeed..." person.

Planning a final night together won't be a route to casual sex only. I'm not that person. I just like the idea of a lovely goodbye together. And I'm sure there will be more tears like there were from both of us today.

I say no, as you’ve said ‘I’m not that person’. If casual sex isn’t your thing I wouldn’t do this. The fact you’re posting to check means you’re not sure.
Especially drunk, you might bring up all sorts of emotions. You’ve also alluded to him not handling a sensitive situation well.

I did leave someone once and I suggested maybe we could still have sex, but in reality there’s other people out there. It’s easier just to draw a line.

I’d watch the band and go home.

Tallguy101 · 15/04/2023 11:47

Yeah just do it. Nice memory then look ahead to something new.

Talkingmouse · 16/04/2023 00:16

I think it is a nice way to say goodbye if you both still respect each other but know it isn’t going to work long term. Enjoy.

PhilNW · 16/04/2023 09:07

If you have come to a decision why drag it out. draw a line under it and move on ASAP.

Flowersun6 · 17/04/2023 21:02

No I think you won't enjoy it. If it was me I'd probably start to cry! Before we even got half way.

I think you would feel terrible after too.

Original poster
OfcourseitsaNC · 02/05/2023 21:48

We had a great time at the band.

We then went back to his and saw the sun come up together, knackered.

No tears, just a great last night together. I enjoyed having the right buttons pushed, and pushing his.

Really lovely way to say goodbye and wish each other well for the future.

OP posts:
Wishona · 02/05/2023 22:19

Oh I’m pleased for you 🙂

MyBelladonna · 02/05/2023 22:27

Thank you for your update, I’d been thinking about you. All the best for moving on xx

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