Advice for being on top!

[Rollerbladequeen]

I’ve always enjoyed all aspects of sex, quite adventurous BUT I always shy away from being on top.
Im a size 16 and sometimes I get paranoid about being too big. I can’t seem to get a proper motion going and because I’m so embarrassed about being rubbish at it, I avoid it.

my new partner has expressed he enjoys this position but I’m too rubbish at it!

can anyone give me any tips or advice please?

Thanks!

I find facing the opposite way… towards his feet helps with feeling less self conscious. No sure why!… maybe less intimate

I think the most important thing to bear in mind here is that your partner is with you because he fancies you! He knows you’re a size 16, he loves your body, he wants you on top, you are his goddess.

Next, the physical motion of sitting astride a partner and getting into the groove with the hip/pelvis action is unusual, we generally don’t have any other reason to be in this position. So when you’re alone in the house get yourself a pillow and practice! Not to get yourself off, just to practice the rhythm, slow, fast, back to slow etc.

Lastly, fake it til you make it! Approach your partner like he is your personal stallion, you can’t wait to throw your leg over him and ride him to ecstasy! Don’t shuffle over, covering your boobs, telling him you’re gonna try but it might not be any good. Believe in your beautiful self! Have fun xxx

Thanks, I’ve seen this position , maybe I need to give it a go and I’ll feel less self conscious!

Great advice, thank you!!

I’ll be practising today 😂
I’ve heard a pillow on either side of my legs might help?!

I want to google some tips, but imagine someone saw my search history!

If you’re using a pillow make sure it’s good and firm, so it doesn’t throw you off balance.

I should say, I pass on the advice in my earlier post
as a woman with a size 18 body, so I am larger than you. I have a couple of chronic health issues and I’m never going to be thin! I kinda made peace with my body a number of years ago, I no longer give headspace to negative thoughts and that has been so freeing. Enjoy the body you are in, enjoy the sensations you share with your partner!

oh, and Lovehoney do supercute lacy babydolls that cover up tummies, if that’s something that might also help your confidence!!

You don't have to be super athletic, you can grind your clit on him with not much movement and he will love seeing you turning yourself on using him. Plus he (or you!) can play with your breasts and nipples, or he can reach round and hold your bum.

if you start feeling self conscious, lean down and kiss him so he can't see anything 😁

It's a combination effort, not just about you on top doing all the work. You've got to get the rhythm right, as he's thrusting, try grinding on him. I'm not skinny. I've gone down from a 16 to a 12 recently but when bigger it never made much difference with the movements or how confident I had. If he fancies you, he's going to like you even more naked.

I want to google some tips, but imagine someone saw my search history!

Use incognito mode - no records kept

Ride him slowly and deeply, gradually picking up the pace, if a disparity in weight, watch you don't bend his cock.

Lol. It doesn't quite work like that.

OP I was the same and I think I was trying too hard to get a rhythm going when actually slow grinding is absolutely fine - in fact it’s lovely. I also feel more confident in how I look when grinding rather than riding.

This article about spelling ‘coconut’ with your hips when on top greatly improved things for me and I now love being on top - enjoy!

https://graziadaily.co.uk/life/real-life/coconutting-latest-sex-trend/

Oh I know, just speaking from painful but simultaneously pleasurable prior experience! Ride, grind, do whatever feels good for both is the best advice to be honest.

I am also a size 18 with quite a tum. My bf is 'smaller' than average and has a bit of a complex but is incredible in bed! Very selfless etc. I find that after a few clitoral orgasms if I get on top and rock back and forth it really gets to my g spot and I can cum very quickly. I bring my knees up so my feet are flat either side of him, and he holds my hands so I can slightly lean back to go even deeper. When he gets close we roll over so he's on top as he prefers to cum that way. Most men wouldnt care about almost any bodily worries if their partner had multiple orgasms with them, so throw yourself in and enjoy it Everyone has a hang up about something so be confident and tell him how much he turns you on

@CuddlyPanda , god yes, holding hands or grabbing shoulders/arse during either reverse or f2f cowgirl, is the hottest thing ever. Holding hands in particular, incredibly intimate and sensual. Good stuff...

Go into private browsing. That’s what I do for anything sex related. That way if anyone picked up my phone they wouldn’t see the searches. Love honey has a position of the week which is fun, if you sign up to their emails you receive it weekly. I bought the book for my boyfriend (now ex) for valentines but we haven’t seen each other since (complicated). Feel like demanding the book back! We did have great sex and spent 2hrs trying out some positions the last time I saw him. I love being on top, most men I’ve had sex with wouldn’t give a monkeys what rhythm you’ve got going. Most tend to speed it up a bit I’ve found as I quite like it slow when I’m top as I can easily orgasm on top - clit orgasm via the stimulation.

I did for the first time try the reverse position on top as someone has suggested, I’d drank a bottle of Prosecco so my memories of that epic session are a bit hazy but I seem to remember I liked it! Don’t be embarrassed, sex isn’t meant to be perfect, you can get stuck in position or find out it’s not quite working out a great position. I definitely had a new injury everytime I had sex with recent ex - all fun though!

Soke people say to sing a song in your head which helps with the rhythm. Or play some music.

@SteadyGrasshopper that's amazing. I've never heard of that. Thank you.

Sit on in an almost vertical position for the insertion, then go forward to horizontal. Once you are used to it, you can teach yourself to "reverse on" without being upright.

@MovingonfromMartin you are very welcome. Enjoy!

I think all this stuff about coconuts and mentally singing songs misses the point a bit. It's supposed to be enjoyable for you, and you won't enjoy it if you feel you have to put on a performance!

I find that if I'm on top, my hips just do their thing and grind almost involuntarily. Focus on what feels good and go with that feeling.