Desperate for pov O

[Fatmamslim]

Married over a decade. Husband very "giving" and desperate to please.

I've faked it in every relationship. Would utterly kill my husband if he knew. Poor sod just wants to make me happy.

I've always assumed and accepted that a large proportion of women simply can't orgasm through pov. But I realise how sad I am that this includes me.

I feel like I'll never experience it and that if it were possible for me I'd have so much more sex drive.

Is it possible!?

Presume you mean ‘per vagina’? Can you reach orgasm on your own? If so, make an excuse to avoid penetrative sex on a suitable occasion (i.e. DC with granny for a night / weekend!) and gently teach him how you need to be touched, and where, without penetration, letting him bring you to orgasm. That’s a really sexy thing for a partner to do and see and can be a steady springboard towards necessary stimulation of your clitoris during sex - by him or by you, and I’m sure you’ll be able to progress towards orgasm during penetrative sex. In our experience the best and most relaxed position is spooning so that DH can reach around and stroke my little button, and I can easily guide him if necessary to make sure he hits the spot and gets the rhythm right. The only problem is that when he first experiences your orgasmic contractions and realises you are coming, he’ll realise what’s been missing for the last 10 years! Good luck and keep us posted!!x

Assuming pov is a slight typo and you mean penis in vagina. Not everyone can cum in that way, and that's OK. In my experience, a good alternative is to have clitoral orgasms while having piv sex. Either from your partner masturbating you while you fuck or, if it works for you, if he can put pressure on your clit/mons with his body rather than his hands.

Anyway, if you think he'd me mortified to know you're faking it, perhaps you need to understand why you find it hard to communicate your needs desires to him. It sounds like he'd be be empathetic?

Good luck. ❤️

Well that's annoying 🙄 I didn't realise my phone had autocorrected, sorry! And yes- thank you for still understanding what it was supposed to say!

Esther, your reply was so kind. I'm in therapy and we are currently working on exactly this. It's not him, it's all me and my issues. I hope to be better at communicating soon.

I really love having Clit stimulation during sex. Because then atleast I do orgasm. (And yes, no issues alone and he can make me orgasm via oral (but not always, again though, me problem) and with clit stimulation.

The faking it with penatrive was again, a me issue, coming into the relationship I hadn't been empowered to realise that my pleasure was important too. By the time we were well established as a couple and he made me realise it was, I felt like that lie was too far gone. I tried to walk it back after the birth of our 3rd, blaming the birth for being unable to orgasm through penatrive and tried to fix it then, but for various reasons (again, me problem) I let it slide and kept faking 🤦‍♀️

Katie, do you think it is possible then? Almost just practice?

I'd really like to try being on top, and I know he'd like me to, too.... but on the few occasions I've been brave enough to say I want to try, he tries to move me up and down which is both uncomfortable and does nothing at all for me, and then I think we both feel it's not the one and go back to other positions. Again, I thought maybe it was just me but having watched some porn (abby winters type stuff!) They definitely seem to be doing more of a circular/rocking motion which is what I wanted to instinctively do but now feel that motion clearly doesn't work for him so don't know how to broach it again!

Fwiw, he was much less sexually experienced coming into the relationship having only had two girlfriends prior, short term. He makes up in willingness.

I was a complete slutbag 🤣 and had had many a partner but honestly it was all absolutely shit, and all male focused so I don't feel I have any experience either really. I'm also not as giving/willing (note; trauma, therapy etc) but hope I will be in time and think I'd be more willing for regular sex if it felt like I could guarentee my own genuine enjoyment too..

Thank you

In my experience, I've only come with a handful of men during PIV (I've slept with quite a lot but, similar to you, very male focused and I didn't communicate my needs well).

I have also slept with women and I come far more easily from penetration with women which is (in my experience) unhurried with much better communication and has felt like a much more selfless act.

The build up to PIV and the angle / depth / speed / rhythm that suits the majority of men best isn't what works for me so it's only if I've been on top and they haven't tried to control my movements or they've asked what I like and have been purposely fucking with my pleasure in mind that I've come.

Not suggesting you should sleep with a woman, but that he needs to approach penetration with that type of unhurried, curious attitude and fucks with your pleasure in mind and you need to be willing to communicate what works for you.

Likemindedlady... I consider myself bi and with hindsight feel i should have explored women more prior to settling down. Wouldn't swap dh for anything but suspect I'm more easily compatible sexually with women. This does niggle me.

If you're on top, you can set the pace and also the angle. Lots of scope for experimentation. You might be able to get more a clitoral stimulus going on his pubis, IYSWIM.

Tell him to butt out of moving you, you're going to be in charge of this bit!

Try different angles, ask your partner to make different movements and motions, go on top absolutely, vary the pace, too. Girth is very important for a penetrative orgasm, and get him to pay attention to the clit simultaneously. Get him standing up, try really pushing the boat out and experimenting.

Thank you all so much x

Might be an idea to place a pillow or cushion under your butt and then in the missionary position it gives a different angle for PIV.

Good luck OP