I feel there is a kink somewhere hiding inside

[Freeflight]

So I have only been in 1 relationship in my life, one sexual partner and it's been "uneventful"

Having started to move on from that I genuinely think that I could have some kinky tendancies that I have never explored.
Before anyone asks what those might be, I genuinely don't know.
Am just keen to hear about any that might be worth a try. These don't have to be your kinks, but ones that you know about. I think I have led a very sheltered life and am keen to have things to explore when I find someone that I feel comfortable with.

By the sound of it - your sexuality is developing and you are ready to have much better, and more adventurous sex than you have had so far.

As to kinks - i don’t think it works like this. You don’t ‘try on’ other people’s preferences and fantasies. You sort of feel/imagine/crave it yourself.
As you get more experience with sex with other people - I think you’ll figure it out.
I don’t think going in search of your kink is something particularly useful.
But - if you are just trying to get less ‘sheltered’ - just have a look at porn. Everything and anything can be found there.

Hope your next partner is more experienced and adventurous.

Start by thinking about how you define "kink". A lot of the time these days, the term seems synonymous with BDSM, but the world of kink is much wider than that.

Whilst I agree with the PP on almost everything, don't rush to porn for kink education - there are lots of blogs and podcasts that discuss kink in more consistently sex positive ways. (There's a recent thread about podcasts with some recommendations.)

Have fun, don't rush, and good luck.❤️

Maybe write your fantasies down and look for common links?

It was in fact a casual partner of mine who was brilliant at fantasy (unfortunately not at actual sex, but swings and roundabouts) who pointed out some of the common themes in my fantasies. I'd never considered that they might have a 'real' basis that could be explored, because they aren't in themselves reproducible in any way.

@Estherpologist , agree with you about the porn, bad place to look because its so indiscriminate and becomes niche at the same time.
Also I think it's bollocks that you can't try out other people's fantasies and kinks. If you want to you can, and if you enjoy it you can do it again. It can absolutely work like that.

Do you read fiction? Fancy yourself in a Spy Thriller, hiding out with someone and you get close?
I start with a historical romance and being chased then rescued.
It is harmless not like porn and gets you exercising your imagination.

I don't think you can choose a kink, it's something that is already there within you and it can be expanded on. Some people don't have any, some do.

I don't think you can choose a kink either, but there is so little encouragement for straight women to pursue what really arouses them, as opposed to what arouses her partner, that there are specific difficulties with working out what genuinely connects the dots for you. I think I barely managed any of that until I was 50. What a depressing thought.

Here's an a-z from a women's mag. Be warned, the first two are age play and anulingus!

https://www.glamour.com/story/a-to-z-kinks-and-fetishes

Well I looked at the a- z of kinks, maybe I’m not into kinky sex but with very few exceptions I wouldn’t want to try any of them, outdoor sex and role play about it,

By ‘you can’t try out other people’s kink’ - i meant what others said on here.
Your kinks are part of you. Or not. Or not yet.
And it’s not like it’s some badge that you need to have to be cool. You don’t have to have a kink, or call whatever you like to do ‘a kink’…:
Who even knows the exact definition of what it is….

I do know my sexuality and preferences developed and changed over the years. Partially - lead by experiences with others. Partially possibly by with fantasies. And with general changes in my life, self confidence and maturity.

You are at the start of an exciting journey of self discovery. Enjoy!!!

Thanks all.
I am not thinking BDSM on the “kink” front I just think maybe less standard if that makes sense (I hate the term “vanilla” but it probably fits)
I guess I kind of want to have somewhere to look into what might peak my interest as I know the world is a massive opportunity of individuality so feel it is good to try and see what turns me on to direct my path I suppose.
Thanks for the thoughts on imaginative things and looking into some a-z lists.

You must know yourself what turns you on. You can't force these things.

Well I must be highly suggestible. I found out about a certain kink and now I love it - I'd never really thought about this thing being deeply arousing before, and now I definitely do.

I think it all goes back to what each of us think of as ‘kink’
For me personally it’s something more along BDSM and sort of what I think is more extreme, or more niche.
But I do remember a bf long time ago who thought oral was ‘way too out there’ and didn’t even want to try.

But as far as what turns you on - and going beyond missionary - of course there are so many ways to explore.

And - I do think that it helps if you do it with a likeminded sexy partner, rather than an academic exercise.

Agree in you must know what turns you on. I had years of vanilla - mediocre sex but the guy I’ve been seeing the last few months has definitely released some kinks in me! Some of its just rough sex, so nothing major but I like it. I love some light bondage, bit of spanking etc. Not sure if they are kinks really, or just the other end of Vanilla. My boyfriend puts his hands round my throat and I like it, as I can trust he won’t hurt me, but it’s that thought that he could that’s the thrill. Not for everyone of course and not something I’ve ever done before. I’m mid 40’s and exploring my sexuality in ways I never have before. I’d like to explore more stuff with him and I’ve purchased a few things from Love Honey. I like to browse their website

That sounds much more like you're exploring his sexuality and love of sexual violence than yours tbh.

The thing that I found that has improved my sex life more than anything is sound. I'd never had a partner who thought about sound during sex at all, but it's a major part of arousal for me.

Get. In. The. Bin

At what point did the PP say it wasn't consensual? You sound like a judgemental kink shamer.