Threesome advice

[TracxeyS1111]

Advice / thoughts please…
Last week when I was having sex with my OH he mentioned having a threesome. We had been out and he was a bit drunk so may be alcohol thoughts.
We have been married 12 years and first time he had really mentioned it apart from the odd jokes in the past.
Ive been thinking about it over the last week since he said it in a real fuzz about it. In my early 20’s with another partner I had a threesome once on holiday (MFF). Never done it since, but have often thought about it and at the time found it really powerful. My OH does not know about this.
He has been away with work, and probably given me too much time to think / reflect on it but my sex drive this week has gone through the roof!
Im not sure whether to ignore it and put it down to too much alcohol or bring it up again.
I know life is different now, with marriage and kids. Not the same as in my 20’s.
Advice please I keep having different decisions!

It could be a lot of fun actually.
Have a look at Killing Kittens. It may be a place where you can explore at your own speed.

You are obviously still thinking about it so must be something that you would enjoy and your previous experience seems to have been a positive one. The fact that it is turning you on the idea is also another positive vibe.

thanks - yes. its a powerful thing for me. It may just pass over time. Just potty OH hasn't been here this week to help lol!

For me it's a nice fantasy, but my guess is the reality is too complicated. Finding someone you both like and will leave you alone when you're done with them. Hotel/your house/their house/sex party? "Hot wife" or "cuckold"? Who kisses who first and what if one of you wants more when the other does? And don't even start me on negotiating 12 limbs.
But if you've been thinking about it for years and your hubby has too, maybe you'll have lots of fun and will never want to leave the swinging community.

@Estherpologist

Not as complicated to arrange actually. My partner and I have been on KK for a bit and there are plenty of women who want to experiment without getting attached.
And as to the flow - just like with any sexual experiences - it just happens naturally.
I also don’t think this experience makes you ‘hooked’ on swingers community.
People experiment, some stay and play fairly regularly. Others less so. All depends on what works for you as a couple.

I'd like this for me and my partner at some point (MFF) but I'm worried about the reality of it. Would I feel jealous in the moment, would he prefer how the other girl looks to me. When I think of it, it's hot, but I don't know if the reality would live up to expectation

@rach971

Completely normal thoughts and i think most people embarking on experimentation as a couple wonder about these things.

I’d say a few things here, based on my experience. For starters - if you go that way - it must be for both of you. Don’t do it to please, (or keep) your guy. If you find that you will also get something from the girl/girl interactions as well - then it won’t be just for him.
Then - you need to be fairly secure in yourself and your partner. Which includes realising and being OK with the fact that there are plenty of women out there - younger, prettier, hotter than you - and yet not being a threat to your relationship.

And finally - you need to be very open with each other. Discuss it all, discuss vulnerabilities, etc. He will need to be able to be checking in with you constantly - and reassure you if he senses any wobbles. Wobbles and jealousy of course can happen. Probably happens to all.
I think when we just started - my partner was overly sensitive and made sure to reassure me with a touch, a look, etc. Or - i’d reach out and kiss him.
If you embark on these experiences - you relax into it. And for us - as we actually prefer foursomes - as it feels more balanced and fair - we very clearly delineate physical/hedonistic experiences from our intimacy as a couple.
Those are very very different.