Advice regarding these comments!

[Delicate35]

Posting here as it’s anonymous and easier to talk about to those who do not know me.
When I was a teenage girl, under the age of 16, I was groomed by a much older man which eventually led to sex, this led to a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour, only one other person knew about this and my now DH.
I believe this led me to lead a life of risky and unhealthy sexual behaviour when I was younger, I have been open with my DH about these experiences.
Occasionally when we’ve argued he’s brought one of the experiences I had up and used it against me, not the grooming one. I know it’s unacceptable and realise now what healthy boundaries are and not to mention the fact I feel ashamed of what I did.
How do I confront DH if this happens again?

That's completely out of order by your husband!

It's a complete breach of trust, I couldn't stand for that.

I wouldnt wait for it to be brought up again, I would bring it up just in general terms, something like;

”we need to chat, I don’t appreciate when something from my past has been brought up and used against me. I told you in good faith because I trust you, it triggers me and I’d appreciate it if it was off the cards when we have cross words please?” And go from there.

I’d also maybe put this in the relationships topic, you might get some really great advice as this isn’t re. Sex it’s re. Your abuse/relationship(s) past and present and an emotional boundary being crossed.

@Choochoo22 I agree, best to talk this through whilst both of you are calm, maybe even as part of building some boundaries and guidelines you both can contribute to that will help heated discussions in the future?