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Original poster

Worried the kids will know!

23 replies

meredithview · 19/02/2023 22:23

OH and I don't have sex as often as we would like because our kids stay up late and I'm so worried they could hear us or could wander in and see us. They've both always been rubbish sleepers, one has additional needs that make it difficult for him to settle and the other can't settle due to anxiety. (We've tried to improve their sleep, believe me!)

How do people manage?!

OP posts:
Rupiduti · 19/02/2023 22:38

How old are they? This may help us give you suggestions!

SunnySnowdrop · 19/02/2023 22:46

Very quietly in the mornings when they're all still asleep. Bit boring mind Grin

Original poster
meredithview · 19/02/2023 22:48

They're 10 and 14

OP posts:
Hawkins003 · 19/02/2023 22:51

Turning the music up, or if in the bathroom running a shower to mask the sounds, as in alters the sound waves

JulieS1 · 19/02/2023 22:52

Its really difficult so can relate to this...

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 19/02/2023 22:55

I can relate. Mine is nearly 10 and we struggle to get chance now as she goes to bed at 10 at weekends and by then I'm knackered 😂.

JulieS1 · 19/02/2023 22:57

Me and my other half can so relate to this. We are finding it so difficult to get any intimate time. We have an older child who doesn't go to bed until late and a younger one who wakes up early or wakes up in the night. Starting sex and having to stop is worse than not having sex lol Its really difficult and dont know the answer, (if anyone does please shout!). Only thing we get is individual time but not the same!

Zanatdy · 20/02/2023 08:34

Get a lock for your door or a door wedge and at least you know no-one will barge in.

NCSexForum · 20/02/2023 08:58

We have children ranging from primary age to teen, the teenager is mostly in their room in the evenings and knows to knock, the younger ones are often asleep by 8:30. We’ve never been caught or heard as far as we know and we have sex about 2-3 times a week.

BooksAndHooks · 20/02/2023 09:00

Lock on the door, TV or radio on in background and don’t make loads of noise.

ChesterDrawsStickmen · 20/02/2023 09:14

Similar age kids here. Stay up late and wedge the door. It is difficult to find
energy right at the very end of the day though. The other time is if we're both home whilst the kids are at school.

OnaBegonia · 20/02/2023 10:10

My DC have always knocked bedroom doors, tell them
barging in is rude and get a lock for the door, they're not toddlers.

Original poster
meredithview · 20/02/2023 12:27

Thanks all, getting a lock for the door is a good idea! We're generally very quiet but the bed is likely to give the game away 🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
MyMachineAndMe · 20/02/2023 15:07

Put cushions or blankets etc on the floor if you're worried about the bed (and of course if you have the space - we don't; the clothes airer is in the way!) or use positions that don't involve a lot of movement!

We often use the time in between us waking and having to wake the dc for school (as they're older, they sleep longer on a morning, hoorah!!) or even just sneak off upstairs when they're busy downstairs.

Whilst we don't want them to catch or hear us in the act, and we certainly don't flaunt our physical relationship in front of them, I don't think it's the end of the world if they know that we occasionally have sex; they do still need to know that it's an important part of a healthy adult relationship so if they did ask, I'd be rather "matter of fact" about it rather than all embarrassed as if I'd done something wrong, if that makes sense.

StarlightLady · 20/02/2023 15:33

One day your kids will realise how they came to be in this world.

justmyskin1952 · 21/02/2023 11:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Johnisafckface · 21/02/2023 16:54

My ex had 3 kids from preteen to teens so it always was awkward to me to have sex. Especially since all the bedrooms were with a foot or two of each other. I hated it. Never was able to really get into it because of that. I preferred doing it at my house, especially when my DD was gone off to college. But even if she was home, she slept on a different floor so i was able to relax and enjoy it a little more.

Anotherbloke1 · 28/02/2023 13:49

We have Alexa playing radio in our bedroom. Put a lock on your door or jam it shut or stay downstairs with TV on, again wedge the door so can't be opened.

Rieslinger · 28/02/2023 14:40

@meredithview Encourage your eldest to get a job as a KP at your local pub/restaurant and ramp up the sleepovers?

Ohyouareawful · 04/03/2023 04:47

Definitely a lock on the door.

FinnGermey · 06/03/2023 13:44

I am almost at the stage where I want to tell my daughters, 11 & 15 that we are going to bed for some 'adult time' in the hope it grosses them out enough to stay away!
For those suggesting a lock, do you mean a bolt or a key lock on the door as neither seem an easy option to me.

MyMachineAndMe · 06/03/2023 14:59

Just get a wedge for the door

TracxeyS1111 · 06/03/2023 23:11

Kids and trying to have a sex life is a challenge. Last summer booked a family room for our week in Majorca... never again lol

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