Painful sex after childbirth

[NC906]

It’s been 16 months since I had my LG, I had an episiotomy and also tore. Sex is still painful, we use plenty of lube but still really sore and my perineum tears every time so then have to wait 3-4 days to heal before we can try again. I saw my GP about it 6 months pp but he was unconcerned and said it was normal after having a baby and he can’t see any abnormal scarring.

Is this normal? I don’t know what to do about it to be honest. Is this just what happens, what can be done?

I had this after my first child. It was excruciating. This is so unhelpful but you know what fixed it? Giving birth to my second. Never had an issue after that!

Bless you, so sorry to hear that. It sounds like the perineum is still extremely fragile.

Your GP is just that - not a specialist. Persevere until you get a consultation at the hospital. Ask the male gp for a referral, or see a female gp. You need support and help, and there is lots of it, if you get to the right department.

It took me 2 years to feel a bit better, so don't despair - a few months is not enough. But do get the right help xx

Sorry, I misread your 16 months. You absolutely must see someone who understands and specialises in post-partum trauma and recovery.

No that’s not normal 16 months on. Ask your GP for a referral as it’s not right you’re in so much pain when using plenty of lube too

No, it’s not normal. Ask for a second opinion!

Definitely not normal, I think it may be to do with the way they stitched up the episiotomy. My friend was like you and after her second child is now fine after a second episiotomy which was stitched differently. I was able to have pain free sex within 6 months of mine. I would push for a referral to a gynaecologist.

No, it's not normal. You need a referral to Gynae at the hospital.

What degree of tear was it and was it sutured by a midwife or an obstetrician?

I'd suggest you abstain from penetrative sex until you've been seen by a specialist. Repeated tears will weaken the tissue and may affect the ability to perform a repair later.

I had my episiotomy to the side and tore straight down, 3rd degree, I was already in theatre due to forceps and so was stitched up there by ob.

will they just cut me back open and restitch? What if my perineum is too weak? The thought of being cut back open is pretty grim, couldn’t sit down for 2 weeks after, was worse than the actual birth.