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Original poster

No sex drive since I started on hormone blockers for breast cancer

14 replies

BG2015 · 16/02/2023 07:39

I'm 54, DP 57. Been together for 8 years now. Happy, fulfilling life. Sex is/ was good.

I had breast cancer in 2021, went through surgery (lumpectomy) chemo, radiotherapy- DP immensely supportive throughout. Couldn't have coped without him.

Last April I started taking Anastrozole which is a drug to stop my body producing oestrogen. I have to take it for 5-10 years. It can cause bone thinning, aching joints, vaginal dryness, thinning hair. Luckily I've faired quite well with side effects compared to many women.

But, since I started taking them I have no sex drive, I feel nothing. I've not had an orgasm since March 2022 and it makes me so sad. We're still having regular sex 1-2 times a week and I enjoy the intimacy and closeness but I miss my pre cancer life, and ease at reaching orgasm.

I haven't told my DP about this as I figure there's no need for him to know, it would just change the dynamics of our relationship and what would that solve.

I've mentioned it to a couple of close friends and one thinks I should tell him the other thinks not.

I'm hoping that over time my body may readjust and that desire may come back. The hot flushes are waning now so maybe there's hope for the sex drive to return.

OP posts:
Judeisnotobscure · 16/02/2023 09:49

Your body and mind have been through so much in a relatively short space of time, considering that plus the medication please give yourself more time. I know that’s easy for me to say!! Your DP sounds like an amazing guy, I think he would be hurt if you didn’t share this with him. Hopefully you can get info from breastcancernow.org. Best wishes xx

PermanentTemporary · 16/02/2023 14:23

Have you got a clinical specialist nurse you can contact attached to the breast clinic? They are brilliant at problem solving and signposting to information.

Very best wishes for the future.

Original poster
BG2015 · 16/02/2023 16:57

PermanentTemporary · 16/02/2023 14:23

Have you got a clinical specialist nurse you can contact attached to the breast clinic? They are brilliant at problem solving and signposting to information.

Very best wishes for the future.

Yes I have and I have mentioned it to her. She has said I could go for counselling but I just don't see the point. I have another health issue going on at the moment too so just don't feel like I can commit to counselling.

OP posts:
Rieslinger · 16/02/2023 18:08

@BG2015 Sounds like you have had a proper rough time of it!!

I agree with @Judeisnotobscure on this, also flip the lid, what would you think if you found out what your DP was going through and he didn't tell you, might properly be rough for him if he found out down the track, if he's been a star then he will continue when you tell him.

Also speak to your nurse about Estrogen pessaries, from what I understand the local benefit rarely extends to systemic...might be worth a shot, also possibly Testosterone gel...how is your GP re HRT knowhow? If they know their shit they might be able to steer you on this.

If not try the Newson Clinic near Stratford, also one of their best nurses has set up a clinic attached to a GP surgery near Weston-Super-Mare.

www.newsonhealth.co.uk/

You can find a way, do not give up!!

purpledalmation · 16/02/2023 18:22

I can't see the point in saying anything to your partner. It won't change anything and may make him feel inadequate.
However, if you feel sharing this with him will help you, then I would share with hm. Only you know your partner and how he may react, none of us here do.

MissyB1 · 16/02/2023 18:29

Hi @BG2015 solidarity!
I had my breast cancer in 2016, I did five years on Tamoxifen and I'm on my 3rd year of Anastrazole now. I know exactly what you mean about sex drive sadly. Last summer I started on oestrogen pesseries, they are perfectly safe (even though my cancer was strongly oestrogen positive). They have fixed my vaginal atrophy, which had become a serious issue for me. I'm kind of angry I wasnt told about them and started on them a few years ago, that could have prevented the vaginal atrophy from happening I suspect.
They don't do anything for libido sadly.
We have sex about twice a week, but I admit I would prefer less. I can't bring myself to tell my dh, our sex life was always such a big part of our marriage. And yes it's much harder to reach orgasm - sometimes impossible. I don't know what the answer is, it's one of the side effects they dont tell you about. Oh I also have bone thinning and painful joints sigh.....

Rieslinger · 16/02/2023 18:46

Awww @MissyB1 sounds like you've had a rough time too!!!

Riverlee · 16/02/2023 19:06

Can you speak to your consultant and ask for a different medication?

Also, could it be a reaction to everything you’ve been through? My breast lump was found during an intimate moment (what a passion killer!) and ten years in, I still have moments when I don’t like my breast being touched, incase another lump is found.

Rieslinger · 16/02/2023 19:08

Oh @Riverlee that sucks!! Perfectly understandable and sorry that colours your fun time x

Original poster
BG2015 · 16/02/2023 19:09

MissyB1 · 16/02/2023 18:29

Hi @BG2015 solidarity!
I had my breast cancer in 2016, I did five years on Tamoxifen and I'm on my 3rd year of Anastrazole now. I know exactly what you mean about sex drive sadly. Last summer I started on oestrogen pesseries, they are perfectly safe (even though my cancer was strongly oestrogen positive). They have fixed my vaginal atrophy, which had become a serious issue for me. I'm kind of angry I wasnt told about them and started on them a few years ago, that could have prevented the vaginal atrophy from happening I suspect.
They don't do anything for libido sadly.
We have sex about twice a week, but I admit I would prefer less. I can't bring myself to tell my dh, our sex life was always such a big part of our marriage. And yes it's much harder to reach orgasm - sometimes impossible. I don't know what the answer is, it's one of the side effects they dont tell you about. Oh I also have bone thinning and painful joints sigh.....

Oh thank you for your post. I don't seem to have any vaginal dryness yet so that's a positive.

But I have heard about the pessaries so I'll bear them in mind.

OP posts:
TrinnySmith · 16/02/2023 19:11

I would look into testosterone just in case that helps.

Knittedfairies · 16/02/2023 19:20

I've been taking Anastrozole since April too, and understand where you're coming from. Prior to that I was using oestrogen pessaries but my GP refused to continue my prescription, despite the oncologist saying they were safe. As for speaking to my breast care nurse, I've only seen her once on a zoom call, and spoken to her twice on the phone. Eventually. Perhaps at almost 70I should just give up on a sex life...

Knittedfairies · 16/02/2023 19:21

*not 701 - I'm old, but not that old.

Rieslinger · 16/02/2023 19:28

@Knittedfairies Do not give up!!!!!!!

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