I feel like I have an extremely unusual problem, and I wonder if anyone out there has experienced anything similar that could help me understand?
I have been with my dp for 12 years. We have a 5 year old and a 1 year old. Over the years he has binged drinked off and on. He seems to be able to go months without drinking. However I have noticed that one of his "triggers" for relapsing is intimacy.
Because of his past drinking our sex life has been practically non existent, his behaviour just turned me off completely, however if we do have sex the odd time, within a 48hr window he will relapse and get drunk. It did take me a while to connect the dots, but I can say now for certaintity this is the case, so now I tend to avoid sex altogether.
Yes I have tried talking to him, but of course he tells me I am ridiculous. I can only conclude that he is either gay or has suffered some sort of sexual trauma in the past. I have mentioned this also and he has told me I am nuts. We can rub along ok together for months without any closeness or affection and things are fine, but if we have sex, he can't seem to cope with it, acts really strange and of course gets drunk. At the time he seems perfectly normal, but there is obviously something seriously amiss and there does not seem to be a way past it.