Porn

[FeelingGuiltyandConfused]

I am a female, age 45. I've been in a relationship for 20 years. I've only recently discovered porn, last two years.

I am now watching it most days and I can't orgasm without it, or it's difficult anyway. I've started faking orgasms when I have sex with my partner. We have sex regularly. I hate this but I can't seem to stop.

Also I'm in a straight relationship but mostly only watch lesbian porn.

Anyone got any ideas how I can stop without going to talk to a real person about it.

If you've only recently started watching it I would imagine the novelty will wear off at some point.

And a lot of straight women prefer lesbian porn, I don't think it's indicative of anything.

Are you still attracted to your husband or are you becoming interested in sleeping with women?

In any case not being able to orgasm when you were before sounds like you've become desensitized. The only way I found to stop was going cold turkey.

stop watching it and go cold turkey

look into tantra and various ways to pleasure yourself and heighten the experience with your DH

Okay, yes I'm still attracted to my DH but I can't climax anymore with him

I did try stopping but it's too bloody easy to pop it on my phone. I will try again. Tantric with my DH or by myself do you mean. I know nothing about tantric sex to be honest. Any ideas where is good to learn about it?

No idea but another good idea is to stop getting off alone, it'll create a build up in your head and the physicality should follow. I know it's hard to do though!

Okay that's another idea, I thought that might make me less horny for some reason. And yes I am finding myself more attracted to women but I guess I need to nip that in the bud too because I do want to stay with my DH

I don't think that curiosity is necessarily a bad thing but obviously it's up to you and him to decide if you want to explore that side. Those two things can coexist they aren't mutually exclusive!

As previous posters have said, cold turkey is the way.

Get to know your triggers, e.g. do you stay up and watch born if your partner goes to bed before you? In that case, go up to bed together and leave your phone downstairs, and least until you get past the intense cravings.

Ever heard the acronym H.A.L.T in relation to addictive behaviour? It says our resolve is most easily overcome when we're Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. I'd be especially careful around these times.

Try to fill the time you would have spent watching porn with something really enjoyable so you don't feel deprived, whether that's having sex with your partner, taking a bath or watching a movie.