Avoiding Valentine's Embarrasment

[NCWorcestershireSauce]

Hello all, not your usual Valentines thread.

I know on here and in the media there will be a lot of build up for couples to valentines day. It's a minor problem to have but I want to avoid the awkwardness when OH and I both feel that media pressure and home alone too for a change and can't get anything together to have sex. We don't have a very adventurous time and sex isn't frequent so it all feels really uncomfortable, I think for us both.

What is a nice way to make sure that we don't damage our relationship by making it not awkward not to refer to sex on valentines day?

To me, valentines day and sex don't really have a huge connection. Couples (usually) have a sexual relationship too and valentines is just a way to celebrate love within a relationship.
There shouldn't be awkwardness between you, is communication generally okay between you?

You can do something else together you enjoy, watching a film or box set? Doesn’t have to be sex. I’m in a new relationship so of course we have a night of passion planned, but if I was in a long term relationship I’d probably treat it like any other night

I'm with Zanatdy on that, I feel like Valentine's day carries a special meaning when you're on early stages, but late it's just another day and probably an excuse to watch silly romcoms and eat chocolates 😂 we don't plan anything special, I might make a smartshow 3d Valentine's day video with our photos to add a romantic note, but we don't have anything planned and the media pressure doesn't really affect it. It's really up to you how you'd want to spend the day, and if you don't want it to be special, it's completely okay.

We ignore it.

I'm a bit surprised this is really a thing! We (sometimes) give a card, some years there's flowers or another gift, but mainly ignore it.

This year I will be away with the kids and he will be doing DIY. We may or may not manage a phone call at some point during the day!

We've been married a lot of years and probably in the early days we'd conclude Valentine's Day with a nice romantic meal out or at home followed by bed and sex.

Over the years we've grown in our appreciation and love for each other all the year round and follow through with that in terms of sex - or not.

I don't think we've ever felt the need to conform to some sort of built-up expectation as to what Valentine's Day "should" consist of. Although we still acknowledge it in a fairly light-hearted fun way with cards, flowers and a present - chocs or nice undies for her and maybe a snazzy pair of boxer shorts for me.

It may well be that by bedtime next Tuesday we'll just want to have a kiss and a cuddle and go to sleep. It's a working day for both of us and the likelihood is we'll be tired out. Which will be totally fine. Sexy fun can always wait to another time.

So maybe don't worry too much about taking "sex" totally out of the equation. Just do something you both really enjoy. Take a bit of time out during the day if you can to remind yourselves of what you mean to each other.

Some couples ignore it all together, obviously all well and good, others will go OTT and all out for it, all good too. If you can discuss both of your expectations around it and agree then it shouldn't be a problem. Plus IMO it's not all about sex. For my DH and I it's just about showing each other we love and appreciate one another and taking some time for ourselves.